Saturday, January 21, 2012
For Christmas we received a gift. It was a coffee creamer and sugar set. When it arrived. It was broken. At first, I sadly thought: "What a waste! I am going to have to throw it away." Then I decided to try to glue it back together. With some super glue (that is banned in California because it may cause one to grow a third eyeball) I started to glue it back together. In about 30 minutes I was done. Good as, well, almost good as new! My set now sits on the butcher block in the kitchen. The sugar bowl filled with sugar. It is doing what it is designed to do. Fulfilling its purpose.
As I was gluing, I started to ponder God, brokenness, the boys, and myself. God designed the boys. He designed you and me. And yet we all are a bit broken. During the boys their first year of life, they have a few scars reminding us that they are broken and needing fixed. Scars that saved their lives. God allowed the boys to be scarred. He allows bad things to happen to us. I think we spend too much time pondering "why"...when the answer isn't meant to be revealed to us right away. But what I do know is that these two little boys have touched so many lives. Just today, I brought them into a room, and a woman there, who was looking a bit downcast, lit up when she saw them. Her demeanor totally changed. That is just a tiny insignificant example.
I guess what it boils down to - how do respond to brokenness. .Our first response, we can say: what a waste. And live a life void of purpose.
We can try to pick up the pieces but live life half broken and ashamed that we aren't perfect.
Or we can use our scars, broken pieces, and imperfections for God's glory. Each scar tells a story. A lesson in living. We still have a great purpose and perhaps even a greater purpose and responsibility. The scars of Jesus after he died on the cross - in our place - for all the nasty, gross things we have done here on the earth - tells us how much He loves us. It convinced Thomas to believe. And reminds us of the great sacrifice He made.
Here are the stories behind some of the boy's scars, for the curious...
The first one, is Isaiah. Its a scar from an intraosseous catheter. You see, Isaiah had aspirated. And a not so wonderful night nurse didn't take this mom here seriously that I thought Isaiah was seriously sick. By morning, it was apparent he was in critical conditions. And severely dehydrated. And we couldn't get IV access. So they basically took a needle and stuck it into his leg bone and were able to infuse some fluids. Enough that we were able to get an IV and get strong antibiotics running in a few hours. Unfortunately it also infiltrated quickly, swelling his leg and leaving a scar. But that whole incident taught me a lot. The second is a scar from an infiltrated IV of Kaden's: another lesson for this mom: check IV's hourly even if the nurse does not. The third is Kaden's G-tube. It sustained Kaden and his life for over a year. I can't say what the future holds for my scarred children, or for my scar-less Morgann, but I have faith that God will use those scars, trials, delays, and hardships and make something beautiful out of it. Actually I can say with certainty, He already did.