Do you ever look back and have like a snapshot of yourself? Well, five months ago, K was at Elliot. He was sick. Not too bad - but just bad timing. We were supposed to leave for SC the morning he was admitted and I sent Rich and Morgann on to SC. Our friend Diana took Mr. I. I took the ambulance to the hospital. It was one of our ER all nighters. I was EXHAUSTED and emotional. Very very emotional. Did I mention I was tired? So Dr. Crazymaniam of another hospital was stirring up stuff with the Health Dept and with Elliot. (Once again, she was WRONG!) So on top of Rich being gone, having a sick child, having no sleep, and not really knowing where my other baby was, I had Dr. Crazy trying to get K transfered.) I put my foot down and Elliot was awesome and supported us. But I WAS DONE. One of those moments, when you cant do anymore. I couldnt sleep, eat, puke, or think. Though I felt like doing all three. I needed OUT of the hospital. I called my awesome friend Marie, but she was babysitting Mr. I (found him at least!) and another baby and her own kids and they were napping but she could pick me up in an hour or so. I called Kris next. She answered and was able to come to the hospital within a few minutes. I got in her van and LOST IT. Tears and snot and all....totally lost it. Got home. Didn't have keys. So I broke in my own home...nice. I got to the kitchen and just lost it even more. I remember sobbing over the sink. This is my snapshot - me sobbing over the kitchen sink and apologizing to a not present Morgann for not being able to go to SC with her and for all the doctors appointments and stress we put on her over the last year. I don't know what Kris said or did. But she was THERE. Somehow she got me to callm down...and got me to lay down and just breath.. She found care for Mr. I. She helped me find my keys. I dont remember what happened next. Thank you Kris. Somehow Mr. I was delivered to another foster family who lovingly took care of him for a few days. I somehow got back to the hospital - and was sent home by our awesome nurse Lori, who assured me she would call if anything came up and that K was her only patient and she would stay with him all night. She did and he was fine and he came home the next day.
So here we are, five months later. And we are okay. Morgann is fine. She is happy and loves her brothers. K is doing pretty good minus a runny nose and lots of drooling - darn molars! Mr. I is also doing great and finally doesnt puke everything all the time. Rich is a loving dad of three. And me, I am just remembering what we have been through and so thankful that its been FIVE MONTHS. And its been so worth it. And even if we do have some crisis happen and we are in the hospital again on Christmas. It will still be okay. God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good. In sickness and in health. All the time. Even when I am crazy. God is good.