Remember the Wallflowers? One headlight... We have a radio station here - 92.5 the River, to be exact. One of the world's only and first solar powered radio stations....and they play the Wallflowers. I was so psyched that they played "my music". Like Sarah McLaughlin, DMB, Cake, Beck, and I was thinking to myself, that it was cool they played new alternative music...and then it occured to me that basically they play "Oldies" alternative, as all this music was new 10 years ago. I'm stuck musically in 1998 and honestly, I don't care. I have 92.5 the River, the world's first solar powered radio station. All set.
I'm beating around the bush to why I'm posting. I've been awfully vunerable and open here and I think thats a good thing so back to my title. (In part, due to Maggie, Lacey, and Riley's creative titles...) We know God is at work and he is good. He has a perfect plan and a perfect purpose, but my finite mind has a really hard time seeing past the darkness into His perfect plan. We want to be like Jesus. We pray to be like Jesus. But when we ask for that, we don't want to be rejected and betrayed like Jesus. But it happens and will continue to happen as we grow more in his likeness. My flesh self says: "well quit, give up, and stop trying to be like Jesus!" Honestly that is where I am at right now. We are so broken. Our hearts hurt. It will happen again and the thought of that is just too much to handle.
For any of you familiar with Audreycaroline.blogspot.com, this song from Mercy Me holds so true:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
Its raining here. It's been a rainy summer. God be glorified. God bring me closer to you. God bring people to you and your truth. Bring the rain....and we pray for sunny days too.