perfect ten

Ten years! Ten years ago I married my best friend and together we began our great adventure! In one sense, it seems like just yesterday we were married but on the other hand, it seems like its been forever (in a good way.)

10 years, 3 kids, one cat, and one dog later......I just feel blessed. I could not ask for a better partner, friend, lover, father to my kids, pastor to our church, medical advocate for our boys, than Rich.

Rich asked me as we ate dinner (at a great little restaurant in dowtown Portsmouth) if I ever though we'd be where we are when we first got married. Honestly. No. Never in my wildest dreams would we have 3 kids, two of which are adopted Honduran little princes with some crazy medical needs. Or helping plant a Nepalese church in New Hampshire.

But I would not trade our life for anything.

So blessed.

Playing Hookie

So I was a bad mom today. We skipped out on therapy (okay so I gave notice and cancelled in a timely manner.) Instead of putting on AFO's, we put on swim diapers and headed out to meet my friend and her awesome kids at the state park. The boys had fun sitting in the water and trying to eat sand while we weren't looking. Morgann swam around like a dolphin for a few hours and played her little heart out with her friends. We snacked, chatted, and stayed cool on this unusually hot for NH day. (we are wimps in NH, if the thermometer goes about 85, we tend to melt.)

It was normal.

It was relaxing.

I'm learning how to live our life. In the midst of therapies, surgeries, and clinics. Becoming brave. Going place with all three. Having fun with all three. And not feeling the least amount of guilt for cancelling therapy. Cause you know, eating sand is definitely some sort of occupational therapy.

ADOPTED!

Introducing....
Kaden Dale and Isaiah Dugan. Our sons. Forever. Praise God who has adopted us as his children for allowing us to adopt these two sweet children!

Thriving not just surviving

The first year we had the boys, I was in survival mode. Survive the day to make it to the next day. Survive one hospital stay to make it to the next. Wash, rinse, repeat. I lost out on a lot that first year. Looking back, I don't know if I *could* have done it differently. Perhaps. But getting through the first year with medically and developmentally needy kids has a high learning curve. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I do things differently armed now with knowledge? Heck yes!

I feel that the past year, we are starting to thrive. Life isn't a continuous uphill battle. I dont plot all the time when the next time I can get a nap or sleep for a few hours in a row. (Oxygen has helped that problem the most!)

Below are some of my thriving tips.

1. Take a shower before getting the boys up. Get breakfast out and ready for two ravenous boys.Change diapers, flush tubes, give sippy, and plop 'em down and enjoy breakfast together. Drink coffee while they eat. Thing One learning to eat on his own also greatly helped this "thrival tip".

2. After dinner, allow the boys to have some quiet play time together while cleaning up from dinner. They sit on the floor looking at each other with toys. Typically they chatter to each other and play. I clean the kitchen. Not a fun task, but after they go to bed I don't have to clean a messy kitchen. And its good for them relationally. For so long, they seemed like they didn't like each other all that much. Now they have about 30 minutes each night to play together uninterupted. I close the curtain between the kitchen and living room and leave them alone. Thing Two tonight, cried for about five minutes. I knew he was ok. He got over it and started playing. Victory.

3. A medical team that I can trust. This has been crucial. Our beloved doctor knows the boys. And she trusts me. And I trust her. We wouldnt be where we are today with out her. I am so grateful. I have made quite a few mistakes in some of our medical decisions. Burned one bridge that I should have probably kept up a little longer. Burned another and never looked back. It's been a huge learning experience. I've also learned if I my gut doesn't like a doctor on the first visit - my gut is right - and run!

4. A good pharmacist. Our pharmacist, Micheal, at CVS is excellent. He know me. He knows the boys. He will stay late to fill a prescription so we can avoid the E.R. I trust him and he will do all he can to help us. I am again, so grateful.

5. A good team of therapists who cheer us along for every "inch-stone". They celebrate each "inch-stone" with us. Like Thing One who belly scoots to get his cup now. Our therapists have done so much to work towards success and independence for the boys. We have a long way to go - but I know that we can accomplish a lot still.

6. Supportive friends and family. Who just call or text. And listen. And understand. Its vital.

7. Faith. God has gotten us through some rotten, barely surviving times. He has given us the strength to face another day. And He is good in the good and the bad. I know thriving is impossible without him.

8. Icecream after everyone goes to bed.

Long time

I can't believe its been two months since my last post! I think the last two months sped by with out me knowing. I still keep thinking it is MAY. But its almost the end of June. Where has time gone?

We are doing well. Enjoying summer. Enjoying Morgann being home from school - and sleeping in a bit:)

We might have some BIG news to announce next week. I'll be sure to post if that is the case.

:)

a chance encounter?

Our church, Grace Haven does a lot of block parties and bounce houses and fun community events. Sometimes, it seems, that the events are just fun, but don't really impact people for eternity. I meet a lot of people at these events and then rarely see them again.

Anyway. Fast forward to Thursday. We get a call for a short term and unique placement situation. Which is pretty crazy that they called because we have two of the most complex kids/cases in NH. (Yeh, we are famous in DCYF land...) The situation was pretty ideal and due to confidentiality all I can say is that its just a for a few weeks and there is no concern for abuse/neglect. So anyway, we prayed about it and despite the fact that we would be crazy to say yes, we still felt we should say yes. So we said yes. So the kiddo arrives on Monday. He looks so familiar to both Rich and me. (Okay so I guess you now know where this story is going!) Anyway. He left his bookbag at his house, so I went over and met his mom and got his bag. I notice she has a Bible on her bedside table. It looked VERY familiar. As did she. We talked a little bit about reading the Bible and praying and then I left. So I was over again today to pick up the kiddo from visiting mom. She knew we went to church, so she packed a bag with church clothes and we started talking about church. She doesn't have a church here in NH. She asked about ours and I told her about Grace Haven and she asked where it was located. After telling her, she replies - Oh, I know where that is! We have gone to a couple of your bounce house parties! I think I met your husband and he gave us some stuff. Pretty cool!

I have a feeling that we will make a good relationship with this family. So far, we have. God works in very unexpected ways. I am excited to see how God works in this family and in ours. Keep us in your prayers as we take care of this kiddo and minister to his family.

Slowly Victorious

Nothing surrounding the boys happens fast. Nothing....well....they get really sick really fast...but besides that....everything moves s.l.o.w.l.y. To be honest, I am pretty much okay with this slow pace. (Not that I wouldn't be thrilled if they miraculously learned to walk tomorrow!) The court process has been painfully slow too. Nothing has gone easy. (Rich says it is to build up my long suffering! I physically get sick after every court hearing. Its just very hard.)

This week started out bad. 105.3 fever for Thing One. He was lethargic, swollen, somewhat unresponsive, had a terribly high respiratory rate, and refused liquids. I was able to stabilize him enough at home to avoid the E.R. and take him to Dr. O. He had, merely, an ear infection. After two doses of his ear drops, he was left with just a runny nose and no fever. After about 12 hours, he drank again. It just seemed like until Wednesday night, things just were not going well. Nothing seemed to fall into place. Whiny, sick boys ruled my days. We've been having continual viruses since early February. I was feeling weary. We were out of food. It was raining. I also have had no nursing or daycare this week....so I had to do it - go to the grocery store - with all three....in the rain....and it was lunchtime....and you know what....it went okay. No major meltdowns. The kids were all pretty content to eat the free cookie and slice of cheese from the deli. Morgann helped feed the boys while I shopped. It went just fine despite being soaked with cold rain!

On Thursday, the glorious sun made it's appearance. Warm, sunny day at last. Morgann and I went on a jog - just about a mile. The boys loved it. Morgann and I both got some exercise. Then we went to the park. Last year, the park was not much of a hit for the boys. They tolerated the swings for a little bit and then just wanted to be pushed around in the stroller. But then Morgann wanted my attention. I always felt...torn. Wanting to play with Morgann, but NEEDING to attend to two little boys. But this time, what a difference. They both loved the swings. Thing One loved the slides...Thing Two is still warming up...but he will get there...and then they enjoyed watching Morgann swing. They laughed as she went higher and higher. They are so much more aware of their surroundings now. After the park, we walked about another mile and then went home. The boys went to sleep and Morgann went next door to play. It was such a victory of an afternoon. We now have activities that ALL THREE kids can enjoy and be apart of together.

Yesterday was similar - long walks and playing on our playset in the yard. Everyone content.

Today, we tackled Walmart - on a Saturday - and the kids all had fun. Me, eh, I hate Walmart - but to have happy kids and watching them enjoy the trip - that made it worth it. Both boys have extremely low muscle tone. They are the floppiest two year olds I have ever met. But I realized as we were leaving Walmart, that they are becoming so much sturdier. It wasn't until the very end; Thing One flopped over in the cart. Morgann helped him get back upright, and he did a lot of the work to get upright....a small victory for both kids. Morgann who now can help her brother, and Thing One, who now can help himself get out of a flop:)

I have to admit, one of my biggest fears of raising these boys - who, as much as dislike typing it - are disabled - was doing fun stuff together as a family. This week I received such a great gift - HOPE and a victory. We do have fun things we can do together as a family. Our normal may look different, but its okay. Everything may come slowly, but it is coming. The days are getting better. The boys are getting healthier...and one day....courts will be done. Slow...but that’s okay. It’s teaching us a lot.