Hokies in New Hampshire

Broken

2012-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

For Christmas we received a gift. It was a coffee creamer and sugar set. When it arrived. It was broken. At first, I sadly thought: "What a waste! I am going to have to throw it away." Then I decided to try to glue it back together. With some super glue (that is banned in California because it may cause one to grow a third eyeball) I started to glue it back together. In about 30 minutes I was done. Good as, well, almost good as new! My set now sits on the butcher block in the kitchen. The sugar bowl filled with sugar. It is doing what it is designed to do. Fulfilling its purpose.

As I was gluing, I started to ponder God, brokenness, the boys, and myself. God designed the boys. He designed you and me. And yet we all are a bit broken. During the boys their first year of life, they have a few scars reminding us that they are broken and needing fixed. Scars that saved their lives. God allowed the boys to be scarred. He allows bad things to happen to us. I think we spend too much time pondering "why"...when the answer isn't meant to be revealed to us right away. But what I do know is that these two little boys have touched so many lives. Just today, I brought them into a room, and a woman there, who was looking a bit downcast, lit up when she saw them. Her demeanor totally changed. That is just a tiny insignificant example.

I guess what it boils down to - how do respond to brokenness. .Our first response, we can say: what a waste. And live a life void of purpose.

We can try to pick up the pieces but live life half broken and ashamed that we aren't perfect.

Or we can use our scars, broken pieces, and imperfections for God's glory. Each scar tells a story. A lesson in living. We still have a great purpose and perhaps even a greater purpose and responsibility. The scars of Jesus after he died on the cross - in our place - for all the nasty, gross things we have done here on the earth - tells us how much He loves us. It convinced Thomas to believe. And reminds us of the great sacrifice He made.

Here are the stories behind some of the boy's scars, for the curious...
The first one, is Isaiah. Its a scar from an intraosseous catheter. You see, Isaiah had aspirated. And a not so wonderful night nurse didn't take this mom here seriously that I thought Isaiah was seriously sick. By morning, it was apparent he was in critical conditions. And severely dehydrated. And we couldn't get IV access. So they basically took a needle and stuck it into his leg bone and were able to infuse some fluids. Enough that we were able to get an IV and get strong antibiotics running in a few hours. Unfortunately it also infiltrated quickly, swelling his leg and leaving a scar. But that whole incident taught me a lot. The second is a scar from an infiltrated IV of Kaden's: another lesson for this mom: check IV's hourly even if the nurse does not. The third is Kaden's G-tube. It sustained Kaden and his life for over a year. I can't say what the future holds for my scarred children, or for my scar-less Morgann, but I have faith that God will use those scars, trials, delays, and hardships and make something beautiful out of it. Actually I can say with certainty, He already did.

NH primary

2012-01-10T17:39:00.000-08:00

Today is the NH primary. I voted for my favorite candidate based upon I truly support their beliefs.
But here is why I didn't vote for the following. Yes some are superficial but here is the honest truth. Don't be too offended :)

Newt Gingrich: I won't vote for someone with an amphibian name, sorry. Plus the cheating thing.
Jon Huntsman: in his tv ad he says: "Americans are being screwed." yeh didn't like my 6 year old asking "why are we being screwed? What is screwed?"
Romney: former Mass governor, enough said. But his hair creeps me out too.
Perry: HPV vaccine mandate. Please don't force me to vaccinate my kid against a STD because there are still a million other STD's out there...oh and too many girls have died due to the vaccine than my comfort level allows.

So that's how you don't get a vote in Abbey land.

MoMo

2012-01-01T11:48:00.002-08:00

Interview with Morgann, age 6 and 10 mo. (almost 7...sigh...)

What is your favorite show: Wild Kratts

What is your favorite thing at school: Probably learning our about our senses

What is your favorite food: Crackers

What do you want to be when you grow up: Veterinarian

Favorite Christmas present: Paper doll things

What do you think about church: I like doing the little Bible craft thing

What do you think about your brothers: Um, okay. I like them when they laugh and stuff. I dont want any more questions.

Fighter

2011-12-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

K means Fighter. Though we did not name our little man, his name was rightly chosen.

He is one spunky monkey. And very opinionated. A little man of few words. He only speaks when its really necessary. GO! ALL DONE! are his two most uttered words.

He is VERY attached to his pacifier, whom we call Mr. Binks. However, our little man is three and even though his teeth already have suffered a bit of damage due to Mr. Binks, its time for Mr. Binks to start leaving. He uses binks mostly as a chew toy.

Kids with feeding tubes are typically encouraged to use a pacifier since oral stimulation typically ceases due to no longer eating by mouth. However, Kaden, eats and drinks by mouth but still wants to be chewing/sucking on things most of the day. Which developmentally speaking, is appropriate because of his delays.

We have tried a few replacements: Chew Tubes, Teethers shaped similar to pacifers. To which he has had no interest.

Then he got a Little People toy for Christmas. Her name is Maggie. Maggie is now K's best friend. Its only been a few days but he has taken quite an attachment to Maggie. So much so, he no longer is using Mr. Binks during the day.

So I think we have a new milestone. And I think soon Mr. Binks will be able to go away at night as well.

I'm not lucky, I'm blessed

2011-12-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

We are feeling so blessed this Christmas.

Blessed to have a wonderful church family.

Blessed to have three healthy kids this Christmas.

Blessed by being surrounded by friends and family this Christmas season.

Blessed to have toooo many presents under the tree.

Blessed by good food and fellowship. And overly full tummies.

Blessed that Jesus came to this world as a little babe to take away our sin.

Merry Christmas. Blessed indeed.

Funky Monkey

2011-12-23T12:02:00.000-08:00

Momma is in a little funk right now. Nothing bad just random funk. Just feel off. So here's some stream of conscience thoughts.

I think I need more coffee right now.

I am watching the boys watch a little girl that I am watching, play. They are so excited watching her.

Isaiah has been playing more with toys lately. This is super exciting.

Kaden rolls around everywhere. Making oxygen use practically impossible.

Morgann is out of school for the next week and a half.

My boys are endless pits. I am scared to think when they are teenagers.

We were standing in line to see Santa last night at the NH Speedway and there were 19 mo. old twins in front of us. They were HUGE compared to the boys. Not because they were walking but because they were so much taller than my boys.

Kaden wont eat plain fresh spinach anymore. He now has ONE food he wont eat. Isaiah still eats it.

Home sweet Home

2011-12-20T11:15:00.000-08:00

My little boy and I were able to come home around 3 a.m. on Saturday morning. A very exhausted and grumpy and sleep deprived Kaden in combination with a nurse who knows us well and a busy ER full of kids needing admitted allowed us to go home and heal at home.

Kaden is doing much better. He is back on room air and only needs a smidge of oxygen when he sleeps (if he decides to keep the cannula on). He is very happy to be home. Even though he is a boy of few words: "Go" and "all done" were two well used words while inpatient. Poor guy.

Please do keep him in your prayers. We are not sure why Kaden started to desat without symptoms. His monitor really did save him. We are thankful for our good care at Elliot. I am trying to put my faith in front of my fear. Kaden is God's kid. I will do my best to be the best mom to Kaden but he is ultimately in God's hands. I have to live in faith, not fear. And right now, its a bit hard. I get very anxious leaving Kaden even to go to the grocery store. I need to put my faith into action and trust God...

All is well

2011-12-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Kaden is currently inpatient at Elliot Hospital. He is fast asleep right now in room 4 of the PICU. It's slightly ironic that after being hospital free of for 18 mo, we end up in the PICU. But he's moving in the next hour or so to the regular floor. So basically it seems our young man has a virus that caused his respiratory system to go haywire. His antics were very strange. Typically if a kid has low oxygen, there are warning signs: labored faster breathing, blueness in the lips or nailbeds, higher heart rate, nasal flaring, retractions in the abdominal area, neck, or testicles. ( my first and last likely blog mention of testicles) Alas, Kaden had none of this going on, he was sleeping peacefully with a completely normal heart rate. He was pink. He looked great, but his monitor told a different story. I was confused and sought some advice from a few RN friends. They said he sounded fine, maybe the monitor was off...but to trust my gut. His oxygen requirements kept increasing and then we got worried. We decided that we needed to bring him to the ER. because he was on a high lpm of oxygen, we called 911. When the EMT's arrived they commented he looked fine. But yes, his oxygen was reading way low. So off Rich and Kaden went to the ER. At the ER, Kaden continued to decline, needing 16 liters of oxygen to keep him in the high 80's. That is not good all. But the crazy child continued to look and act totally fine. His chest X-ray was clear. By stethoscope, you could hear air moving fine through his lungs. It didn't make clincial sense. He was sent up to the PICU and put on high flow oxygen which is similar to CPAP. And that seemed to work. After a while, he felt better and would no longer tolerate the high flow and pulled it off every 5 seconds (literally). And now, he's basically back to normal....just needing oxygen.

Honestly I don't know what to think of our Kaden boy, this is a new trick from him, he's been sick, has an ear infection.

But I am thankful for our monitor. Pretty sure he's gonna be wearing that thing at night for the next few months to make sure he doesn't do this again. And follow up with pulmonary here at the Elliot.

But we are good. So thankful for our little boy, for the wonderful team of care, and our loving and supportive friends and family who have taken such good care of us. We are so blessed. In the good and in the bad, we are blessed.

God knows even when we dont

2011-12-12T16:21:00.000-08:00

I've known this for a while, but our first foster placement "Little Dude" is in foster care again. He's actually been in foster care now for about two years. He's with a great foster family. Both his mom and dad will be TPR-ed and it sounds like his foster family will adopt him :)

When we heard he was back in care (last fall), I was upset that they didn't call us to place him.I found out on Saturday at our Foster Care Christmas Party, he went back into care in Dec 09 - which was in the middle of our now adopted sons huge health crisis. We were in and out of the hospital NON-STOP. We spent around 192 days inpatient during that time period. As much as we loved Little Dude, it was just not the time or place for him to re-join our family. I remember once, on the way to visit Kaden at the hospital, I saw his mom and him walking down the street. I turned around and watched them walk. I had a decent relationship with his mom and wanted to stop her and just chat. But then I realized that I had new important priorities. God had entrusted Kaden to us and I needed to be with him. I drove on, happy to catch a glimpse of his sweet face.

At the party, I was talking with his social worker I told her I had a ton of pics for the foster family. She said they would be so thrilled to get pictures. Then she said - oh - this is his little sister - referring to the baby she was holding! She was precious. She's in another home and just came into care on Monday.

I do not know exactly where I am going with this post - just that Little Dude and his little sister are just two adorable and beautiful children. They are in good homes. And I wish the best for them. God didn't plan for them to be in our forever family (As much as I wanted Little Dude to be in our forever family as soon as I laid eyes on him.) God knew our twins needed us. And we needed them. And we are blessed.

Well

2011-12-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Well I didn't do so well at blogging everyday. Kaden has been pretty sick since Wed. He's resting well right now on a very low flow of oxygen and has the best sats since Wednesday. He feels miserable and is sleeping a lot. When he is awake he has a nasty cough. The dr. Mom in me thinks he has RSV. It looks like sounds like and is acting just like RSV. The good news is he seems a bit better. We really don't want him spending his third birthday in the hospital. Please keep him in your prayers. My little man needs them.

photography

2011-12-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

I admit it. I am a picture addict. I love pictures. I love taking them. I love printing them and then sticking them in a box of all my other printed pictures...with the good intentions of one day sticking them into a book of some sort.

But I am excited my love of picture taking is spilling over to my Morgann. She spent about an hour last night snapping shots of Christmas ornaments:) Here are a few shots straight off the camera with no edits (or lots of fill light which I know I overuse shamelessly cause I love bright looking pics!)

American Made Christmas

2011-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

The Christmas before we got the boys - I guess it was 3 Christmases ago, I tried to buy 100% American made gifts (minus Morgann's desired My Little Pony). It was a hard task to accomplish, but I did it.

So this year, I upped the ante. (Glutton for punishment, perhaps?) And I am working on not only just American only gifts, but trying to buy the majority as local gifts as well. Concord has a Pop Up Holiday Shop, Concord Handmade, with great local gifts for sale. Two of my favorite local businesses owned by two of my best friends are selling there: REDEMPTION SOAP and Fistful of Daisies.

Anyway. I'd just encourage you to buy a few Christmas gifts this year that are local and American made.

I know having kids who have a wish list makes it a bit harder to get them what they want, however, I found a couple of fun things that are American made: Silly Putty, American published Books, and Little Tykes makes quite a few toys in the US. I am thinking of getting the boys this Activity Gym.

Oh, and for the angler in your family. I found this lure business that has some great gift ideas, Salty Buggers. They have some really cool kits where you design your own bait. It looks like a pretty cool project. Rich said he would enjoy doing something like that if he was not already knee-deep in projects. :)

2011-12-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

So this guy.
His name is Rich.
I like him a lot.
He is a great daddy, husband, pastor, and friend.

He just finished building the boys a customized bed. Complete with a little baby jail gate so they can see each other. I just can picture the boys clanking their sippies cup at the bars trying to break free.

We as a family and a church, Grace Haven are embarking on a new exciting journey - combining our sweet Grace Haven family with another church here on the West Side to form a new church. We are really excited about this new adventure. The "other church" South Main Street Church, has a great group of people with great hearts ready to serve. I can't wait to see what God does. Rich will be leading this whole new church as pastor. I know he will do a great job.

After working a year as a milk man to support his pastoring habit, I am thankful he will be able to get to be a full time pastor. And we will get to see a bit more of him. Cause we like that guy!

Dont tell me they can't.

2011-11-30T14:05:00.000-08:00

A while back, a medical professional told me:
"Well right now things are going good, but Kaden will always have issues and things will get bad again."

Excuse me?

First off, my God is a big God. He is the Great Physician. And I KNOW all things are possible. I believe in miracles. If God wants to heal Kaden 100%, He will. He may choose not to - but I know if He chooses not to heal him 100%, Kaden is still going to live a pretty awesome life. Being differently-abled is not a curse.

Secondly, research shows that much healing can occur in the brain if a child suffers from brain trauma, lack of oxygen, ect. Research also shows that kids with multiple aspirations, once the aspiration problem has been resolved, can regain 100% lung function. AND laryngomalacia, typically effects kids only in the first few years of life, and barely after 5 years of life. Thus, I feel strongly his apnea will be resolved.

and Third. Don't ever tell me my kid is doomed to a life of sickness and disabilities. Just don't. Keep those thoughts to yourself.

Fourth. These boys really like to prove people wrong. Including me.

Believe me. I have had my doubts and worries. If you asked me a year ago, I would have told you I didn't think the boys would ever walk. But they proved me wrong and are taking baby steps as I hold there hands. They will walk. It may be with a gait trainer and later a walker...but they will get there.

Perhaps I am a wee bit competitive. But that helps motivate me as there mom to motivate them.

Our beloved Dr. O. (who I know would never say aloud her doubts and fears )told me a few months ago that she never thought Isaiah would be a little monkey - but he was proving her wrong.
Another time, after seeing a neurologist and then following up six months later the neurologist told me about Isaiah - wow, this is a completely different child.

And then my favorite Elliot hospitalist- Dr. Abrams - Abbey, I never thought Kaden would be sitting here, eating and playing with toys." Little did she know, she was the one who instilled all that hope in me right after we first got Kaden. Even though, she didn't know if Kaden would even live at the time, she whispered gently to my very sick boy: "One day Kaden you will go to school. You will learn math. And the girls will love you." Dr. Abrams taught me a lesson that I will live by every day: Believe in miracles and surround yourself with doctors and nurses who even in their doubts, will support you in your quest to give the best life possible to those little boys.

So here's to my little men who were never supposed to:
-Make it out the NICU
-Drink again
-Eat normally
-See
-Hear
-Interact
-Stand
-Tell me their needs through signing/Ipad
(yep they can do all of the above well)

Now for some goals:
-Walk with assistance
-Talk
-Learn to get from sitting from laying down

Game on.

A post a day.

2011-11-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

So my sister, Sarah, said I should post a blog a day. Lofty goal. But maybe I will try it until Christmas. I have a few ideas and topics whirling around in my brain.

Or I can just post cute pics of my kids.

Like this girl.

(Taken by the fabulous Sarah Dykens)

This girl. She's such a cool kid. Great big sister. Angry birds junkie. Just an awesome six (gulp, almost 7) year old.

I share more stories about her two little brothers. But this kid is pretty amazing too. She is growing into such a wonderful young lady. Last night she washed dishes for me. I like that she is getting to the age of taking over the dishes washing :) She loves to read to her brothers and to me and Rich.

I am so blessed to have a kid like her!

Holding them back.

2011-11-29T11:16:00.000-08:00

My boys are not babies.

They are toddlers.

They may LOOK like babies. They may ACT most of the time like babies.

but the thing is. They are not babies.

They are little boys.

Who understand far more than babies.

And this is where I confess - I have been thinking and treating them like babies for too long.

On our recent trip to Virginia we were going to meet Rich's parents at the hotel. But we needed to get gas first. We knew stopping and NOT getting the boys out of the van would make them mad. Rich explained to the boys that we were stopping to get gas and they would have to stay in the van. He told them after we got gas, we would be able to get out a few minutes later.
....and it worked. They listened and understood. Amazing.

We've had them in cribs until last night (well not at my parents) The boys dont move much. They happily sit and play on their mat all day. (Much like our lazy cat) I kind of assumed that they couldn't crawl as really they just sit all day and fuss if we do put them on their tummies They can not get from laying to sitting. We are working on it and I know one day they will get it.

So my story is long I know. I'm getting to the point:)

So the mattress to their soon to be finished bed is on the floor in their room. And they are taking full advantage of their freedom. This morning, when I went in to get them, Isaiah was army crawling towards the door. And at naptime (which instead was playtime) Kaden made his way to the door and then started banging on it to get it.

I underestimate these little dudes. They have learned to adapt to their abilities. And now its time for me to start treating them like toddlers too.

Helping Hands

2011-10-07T07:59:00.001-07:00

I can't help but want to brag on this little girl - E - in Morgann's class. Her little heart is just bursting with love and compassion to my Isaiah. It warms this mama's heart like no

other. Every week, I help with lunch at Morgann's fantastic school -Grace Christian School . Isaiah loves this time. I have a nurse at home with Kaden during this time, so its just me and my little buddy. After lunch is recess and E takes over. Morgann and E's twin G also play some with Zay, but really, its E leading the way. This week, I brought Isaiah's bronco so he could be more mobile and E quickly learned how to help him walk. She lovingly helped move his legs when they got stuck after taking a step. She helped steer him. She spent her whole recess helping and encouraging Zay Zay to walk. No therapist could accomplish what she did during thirty minutes. Zay was all smiles the whole time. He worked hard. After about 20 minutes, she asked if we could lift his seat up some so she could have him go fast. I lifted his seat and they took off through the parking lot. Zay's face totally lit up in delight. The thing is, E. really didn't know that she was doing therapy with Zay Zay. She also didnt realize she sacrificed her fun recess time for therapy. She did it because she loves Zay. It wasn't a chore. And you know what, I need that same attitude as I serve my little people. It is a joy to be there mom - not a chore. Thats an attitude I really need to start taking on with a purpose!

And speaking of my little people....Sesame Street is over...and they want me. And thats my joyful job - to be there for them!

The Professor

2011-09-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

Look at my dapper little man. He just loves his new glasses. And who wouldn't blame him, doesn't he just look so handsome? Kaden is a bit more serious than the rest of us. He prefers, many times, quiet, routine, and books. He's our little professor.

bucking bronco...blessed.

2011-08-18T19:22:00.001-07:00

Look at my big boy! He is starting to learn how to go. I am so proud of him. Something in him just clicked one Saturday afternoon and he decided he could stand (with minimal support). He loves standing now.

We just got him a stander through Medicaid in July. Within a few weeks he was standing. Super amazing! The stinky thing is, since we just got him a stander, Medicaid wont pay for anymore durable medical equipment (DME) equipment for five more years. So, I set off on a mission to find Mr. I a used gait trainer. New ones range from $1000-$3000. A bit more than what we have on hand for NOW to get him new one. (Sure we could save for a few months, or use K's DME money for one - but I really felt that he needed to start working on walking NOW...rather than 6 mo to a year from now. It took about 6 months for us to get the stander through Medicaid)

I googled "used gait trainers" and low and behold I found a resource right here in NH! I found what looked to be a nice but older model size small gait trainer for $150. I went up the next day to Refurbished Equipment Marketplace in Concord.

Paul at REM was more than helpful. We adjusted the gait trainer down to the smallest sizes possible. But alas, Mr. I was still too small to fit in it. But he loved it anyhow and even took a few small steps. He as all smiles. Paul directed me to another gait trainer - a brand new looking Bronco. I had seen the price tag earlier and new it was way out of our budget for a NOW purchase. I told him that and he said, well, lets just try okay. So we adjusted the Bronco down to the smallest settings possible and put Mr. I in. He fit perfectly. Paul then told me that he thought Mr. I needed this bronco. He asked me what my budget was. I told him that I knew this Bronco was worth a lot more than my budget. He asked again. I told him. He replied: Its yours. We got a $3000 new Bronco for 10% of its worth. Totally, thoroughly blessed.

Mr. I is working on taking steps. He gets totally excited when his big sister Morgann is in the room and tries to follow her around. We are getting there. One small step at a time.

Blogging on special needs

2011-08-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have good intentions (but let's see if I can follow through) of blogging about the boys more and their progress. Not only for my own records and for freinds and family to see them make milestones - but I have found that other blogs have been my best "therapy". I have learned so much from other moms and tried some of their tricks. One mom, Angela's mom at http://www.gavinowens.com/ wrote about the benefits of water therapy. I thought what the heck and gave it a try. Isaiah really took to the water and has started bearing weight like a champ! With the arrival of his stander and many trips to the lake, we have seen him transform this summer.

I have so much I want to share. But I am rushed for time right now. But I just want to try harder to document what works, what fails, and our struggles and triumphs. Hopefully I can help other moms (and dads) who have similar kids too.

Here are two pics of our two new toys for the boys. :)

perfect ten

2011-07-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Ten years! Ten years ago I married my best friend and together we began our great adventure! In one sense, it seems like just yesterday we were married but on the other hand, it seems like its been forever (in a good way.)

10 years, 3 kids, one cat, and one dog later......I just feel blessed. I could not ask for a better partner, friend, lover, father to my kids, pastor to our church, medical advocate for our boys, than Rich.

Rich asked me as we ate dinner (at a great little restaurant in dowtown Portsmouth) if I ever though we'd be where we are when we first got married. Honestly. No. Never in my wildest dreams would we have 3 kids, two of which are adopted Honduran little princes with some crazy medical needs. Or helping plant a Nepalese church in New Hampshire.

But I would not trade our life for anything.

So blessed.

Playing Hookie

2011-07-12T14:09:00.001-07:00

So I was a bad mom today. We skipped out on therapy (okay so I gave notice and cancelled in a timely manner.) Instead of putting on AFO's, we put on swim diapers and headed out to meet my friend and her awesome kids at the state park. The boys had fun sitting in the water and trying to eat sand while we weren't looking. Morgann swam around like a dolphin for a few hours and played her little heart out with her friends. We snacked, chatted, and stayed cool on this unusually hot for NH day. (we are wimps in NH, if the thermometer goes about 85, we tend to melt.)

It was normal.

It was relaxing.

I'm learning how to live our life. In the midst of therapies, surgeries, and clinics. Becoming brave. Going place with all three. Having fun with all three. And not feeling the least amount of guilt for cancelling therapy. Cause you know, eating sand is definitely some sort of occupational therapy.

ADOPTED!

2011-07-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

Introducing....
Kaden Dale and Isaiah Dugan. Our sons. Forever. Praise God who has adopted us as his children for allowing us to adopt these two sweet children!

Thriving not just surviving

2011-06-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

The first year we had the boys, I was in survival mode. Survive the day to make it to the next day. Survive one hospital stay to make it to the next. Wash, rinse, repeat. I lost out on a lot that first year. Looking back, I don't know if I *could* have done it differently. Perhaps. But getting through the first year with medically and developmentally needy kids has a high learning curve. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I do things differently armed now with knowledge? Heck yes!

I feel that the past year, we are starting to thrive. Life isn't a continuous uphill battle. I dont plot all the time when the next time I can get a nap or sleep for a few hours in a row. (Oxygen has helped that problem the most!)

Below are some of my thriving tips.

1. Take a shower before getting the boys up. Get breakfast out and ready for two ravenous boys.Change diapers, flush tubes, give sippy, and plop 'em down and enjoy breakfast together. Drink coffee while they eat. Thing One learning to eat on his own also greatly helped this "thrival tip".

2. After dinner, allow the boys to have some quiet play time together while cleaning up from dinner. They sit on the floor looking at each other with toys. Typically they chatter to each other and play. I clean the kitchen. Not a fun task, but after they go to bed I don't have to clean a messy kitchen. And its good for them relationally. For so long, they seemed like they didn't like each other all that much. Now they have about 30 minutes each night to play together uninterupted. I close the curtain between the kitchen and living room and leave them alone. Thing Two tonight, cried for about five minutes. I knew he was ok. He got over it and started playing. Victory.

3. A medical team that I can trust. This has been crucial. Our beloved doctor knows the boys. And she trusts me. And I trust her. We wouldnt be where we are today with out her. I am so grateful. I have made quite a few mistakes in some of our medical decisions. Burned one bridge that I should have probably kept up a little longer. Burned another and never looked back. It's been a huge learning experience. I've also learned if I my gut doesn't like a doctor on the first visit - my gut is right - and run!

4. A good pharmacist. Our pharmacist, Micheal, at CVS is excellent. He know me. He knows the boys. He will stay late to fill a prescription so we can avoid the E.R. I trust him and he will do all he can to help us. I am again, so grateful.

5. A good team of therapists who cheer us along for every "inch-stone". They celebrate each "inch-stone" with us. Like Thing One who belly scoots to get his cup now. Our therapists have done so much to work towards success and independence for the boys. We have a long way to go - but I know that we can accomplish a lot still.

6. Supportive friends and family. Who just call or text. And listen. And understand. Its vital.

7. Faith. God has gotten us through some rotten, barely surviving times. He has given us the strength to face another day. And He is good in the good and the bad. I know thriving is impossible without him.

8. Icecream after everyone goes to bed.

Long time

2011-06-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe its been two months since my last post! I think the last two months sped by with out me knowing. I still keep thinking it is MAY. But its almost the end of June. Where has time gone?

We are doing well. Enjoying summer. Enjoying Morgann being home from school - and sleeping in a bit:)

We might have some BIG news to announce next week. I'll be sure to post if that is the case.

:)

a chance encounter?

2011-04-06T19:06:00.001-07:00

Our church, Grace Haven does a lot of block parties and bounce houses and fun community events. Sometimes, it seems, that the events are just fun, but don't really impact people for eternity. I meet a lot of people at these events and then rarely see them again.

Anyway. Fast forward to Thursday. We get a call for a short term and unique placement situation. Which is pretty crazy that they called because we have two of the most complex kids/cases in NH. (Yeh, we are famous in DCYF land...) The situation was pretty ideal and due to confidentiality all I can say is that its just a for a few weeks and there is no concern for abuse/neglect. So anyway, we prayed about it and despite the fact that we would be crazy to say yes, we still felt we should say yes. So we said yes. So the kiddo arrives on Monday. He looks so familiar to both Rich and me. (Okay so I guess you now know where this story is going!) Anyway. He left his bookbag at his house, so I went over and met his mom and got his bag. I notice she has a Bible on her bedside table. It looked VERY familiar. As did she. We talked a little bit about reading the Bible and praying and then I left. So I was over again today to pick up the kiddo from visiting mom. She knew we went to church, so she packed a bag with church clothes and we started talking about church. She doesn't have a church here in NH. She asked about ours and I told her about Grace Haven and she asked where it was located. After telling her, she replies - Oh, I know where that is! We have gone to a couple of your bounce house parties! I think I met your husband and he gave us some stuff. Pretty cool!

I have a feeling that we will make a good relationship with this family. So far, we have. God works in very unexpected ways. I am excited to see how God works in this family and in ours. Keep us in your prayers as we take care of this kiddo and minister to his family.

Slowly Victorious

2011-03-19T12:13:00.001-07:00

Nothing surrounding the boys happens fast. Nothing....well....they get really sick really fast...but besides that....everything moves s.l.o.w.l.y. To be honest, I am pretty much okay with this slow pace. (Not that I wouldn't be thrilled if they miraculously learned to walk tomorrow!) The court process has been painfully slow too. Nothing has gone easy. (Rich says it is to build up my long suffering! I physically get sick after every court hearing. Its just very hard.)

This week started out bad. 105.3 fever for Thing One. He was lethargic, swollen, somewhat unresponsive, had a terribly high respiratory rate, and refused liquids. I was able to stabilize him enough at home to avoid the E.R. and take him to Dr. O. He had, merely, an ear infection. After two doses of his ear drops, he was left with just a runny nose and no fever. After about 12 hours, he drank again. It just seemed like until Wednesday night, things just were not going well. Nothing seemed to fall into place. Whiny, sick boys ruled my days. We've been having continual viruses since early February. I was feeling weary. We were out of food. It was raining. I also have had no nursing or daycare this week....so I had to do it - go to the grocery store - with all three....in the rain....and it was lunchtime....and you know what....it went okay. No major meltdowns. The kids were all pretty content to eat the free cookie and slice of cheese from the deli. Morgann helped feed the boys while I shopped. It went just fine despite being soaked with cold rain!

On Thursday, the glorious sun made it's appearance. Warm, sunny day at last. Morgann and I went on a jog - just about a mile. The boys loved it. Morgann and I both got some exercise. Then we went to the park. Last year, the park was not much of a hit for the boys. They tolerated the swings for a little bit and then just wanted to be pushed around in the stroller. But then Morgann wanted my attention. I always felt...torn. Wanting to play with Morgann, but NEEDING to attend to two little boys. But this time, what a difference. They both loved the swings. Thing One loved the slides...Thing Two is still warming up...but he will get there...and then they enjoyed watching Morgann swing. They laughed as she went higher and higher. They are so much more aware of their surroundings now. After the park, we walked about another mile and then went home. The boys went to sleep and Morgann went next door to play. It was such a victory of an afternoon. We now have activities that ALL THREE kids can enjoy and be apart of together.

Yesterday was similar - long walks and playing on our playset in the yard. Everyone content.

Today, we tackled Walmart - on a Saturday - and the kids all had fun. Me, eh, I hate Walmart - but to have happy kids and watching them enjoy the trip - that made it worth it. Both boys have extremely low muscle tone. They are the floppiest two year olds I have ever met. But I realized as we were leaving Walmart, that they are becoming so much sturdier. It wasn't until the very end; Thing One flopped over in the cart. Morgann helped him get back upright, and he did a lot of the work to get upright....a small victory for both kids. Morgann who now can help her brother, and Thing One, who now can help himself get out of a flop:)

I have to admit, one of my biggest fears of raising these boys - who, as much as dislike typing it - are disabled - was doing fun stuff together as a family. This week I received such a great gift - HOPE and a victory. We do have fun things we can do together as a family. Our normal may look different, but its okay. Everything may come slowly, but it is coming. The days are getting better. The boys are getting healthier...and one day....courts will be done. Slow...but that’s okay. It’s teaching us a lot.

oh Boston

2011-03-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Boston. Its an awesome city. But so far away...not really...but that hour and a half seem so long! And I always get lost...somehow. I dont know how I get so turned around so quickly:) But I am thankful we are going just once a month rather than once a week.

Anyway. We had our monthly venture down to beantown today. We picked up some cannolis at Mikes. Got lost. Made it to Children's just in time for K's G/J change....and then headed home again...and missed most of the traffic.

Love Boston cause they saved K. Hate Boston cause I get lost. Love wins for sure:)

Swallow Studies

2011-03-02T16:08:00.001-08:00

Little Men both had swallow studies today. Our awesome Speech Pathologist, Karen, set up the appointments and helped assist in them. I have to admit, I was SUPER nervous to do the swallow studies. Both guys have trouble swallowing liquids. K has a G/J tube for ALL liquids and he eats food by mouth. K. loves loves loves to eat! Food motivates both boys in their slowly progressing skills and movement.

K. has been getting over a particularly nasty virus - he's been so junky and has been vomiting and needing oxygen so I was even more nervous to do the swallow study today.

Karen met me in radiology and after our typical battles with admissions and consents, we finally were able to move forward with the study. Karen convinced me that even if K. aspirated all foods - it wouldn't mean he would never be able to eat again since he was sick his swallow wouldn't be the best but it would also be beneficial to know how to go forward with his feeding when he is sick.

(Sorry long story) Anyway. K went first and he did SO GOOD! He swallowed all the foods so well. He does have a delayed swallow - meaning he swallows when he moves the food to his esophagus rather than on the back of his tongue....(think I explained that right) Then we moved forward with testing him with Honey Thick liquids - really thick liquids basically! So with the help of Karen, we will move forward with introducing these thickened liquids into his diet. Obviously it won't replace the fluids he needs from his G/J, but its a start. For K. I feel that his chronic congestion is not from foods penetrating his airway. Good news...now if we can find WHY he is always congested/junky besides his laryngomalacia dx.

Mr. I. on the other hand, didnt do as well on his swallow study. He penetrated all liquids - which means all the liquids he drank penetrated his airway. He didn't aspirate them - the went in the airway and then he forced them back out - but its not the best scenario. Basically, he is at a higher risk of aspirating (which he has done in the past) But, we will work with him to drink with a straw which would be safer. While eating all his foods, he leaned forward a little bit before he swallowed, which aided in him safely swallowing all his foods. He did a great job with that and safely eats solids. (great news there!) If we can have him drinking from a straw, we think he will do better at not penetrating his airway and hopefully help with his congestion levels.

So long story....but glad we got the studies done and the boys did pretty well!

family

2011-03-01T19:42:00.000-08:00

Took a little drive.

Ended up in Virginia.

Saw my mom and dad.

Took lots of pictures.

Ate outside

It was warm.

No snow.

not that I am counting

2011-02-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

but we are 11 days away from being hospital free for 7 months! Weeehooo.

I visited a little one on the pedi floor two weeks ago - and I didn't know all the nurses and they had a new doctor. So we better not have to go back. I am quite content NOT meeting new hospitalists.

But seriously, praise God for a healthy winter! The boys and Morgann have all had this never.ending.cold since the beginning of January. Just snotty/coughy-ness. But they have done well with it. In fact, Miss Morgann is the one who is most bothered by here nagging cough.

Lord willing, we will be heading down to VA again for our February vacation week. I am looking forward to seeing my momma who is recovering from her hip break and surgery. I can't wait to see her and give her a hug!

Looking back.

2011-01-18T06:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we met my friend Kris and her two cute kids at our local children's museum. Though the location has changed, it is the same museum that we had a membership to when Morgann was a wee two year old. We haven't gone in about three years. Morgann and her new friends had a fun time, but I couldn't help but feel a bit wistful about how fast she has grown up. She is no longer toddling through exhibits needing my help. Now I had to try hard to figure out where she was while playing. She has turned into such a wonderful young lady. She happily helps me with the boys during the day, is polite, friendly, and special little girl.

But seriously, can we shrink her? This growing up thing has happened all too fast. Where did that little toddler playing the drums go?

Gavin Owens: {Special Needs iPad 101}

2011-01-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

This is pretty cool. IPads and special need kids. I want to start saving to get the boys one!!

Gavin Owens: {Special Needs iPad 101}

I heart snow

2011-01-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

I love snow.

It's white

It's fluffy

It's pretty

It's cold

It's peaceful.

I love snow.

And today we got

SNOW

20 inches of beautiful white fluffiness.

...but also.....please keep my mom in your prayers..she broke her hip today at work. She is awaiting surgery right now. I fear the recovery will be very hard. But God is good in good times and hard times. I wish we could just drive on down to VA....but there is 20 inches of white stuff...so maybe God wants me here right now. Love you momma.

I am so happy that my little Morgann is much like her momma.

And loves it like me:)

2010

2010-12-31T19:13:00.000-08:00

2010 in numbers
11 trips to the ER
4 ambulance rides, I,K,K
9 admissions: I,I,K,I,K,K,I,K, I
28 nights
4 different hospitals: Elliot, Boston,Franklin Memorial, Roanoke Memorial
1 scheduled surgery (I's triple scope, ear tubes)
1 unplanned surgery (I's central line)
111 medical appointments, 2 for Morgann

phew.

Snapshots of a day...five months later

2010-12-21T20:13:00.000-08:00

Do you ever look back and have like a snapshot of yourself? Well, five months ago, K was at Elliot. He was sick. Not too bad - but just bad timing. We were supposed to leave for SC the morning he was admitted and I sent Rich and Morgann on to SC. Our friend Diana took Mr. I. I took the ambulance to the hospital. It was one of our ER all nighters. I was EXHAUSTED and emotional. Very very emotional. Did I mention I was tired? So Dr. Crazymaniam of another hospital was stirring up stuff with the Health Dept and with Elliot. (Once again, she was WRONG!) So on top of Rich being gone, having a sick child, having no sleep, and not really knowing where my other baby was, I had Dr. Crazy trying to get K transfered.) I put my foot down and Elliot was awesome and supported us. But I WAS DONE. One of those moments, when you cant do anymore. I couldnt sleep, eat, puke, or think. Though I felt like doing all three. I needed OUT of the hospital. I called my awesome friend Marie, but she was babysitting Mr. I (found him at least!) and another baby and her own kids and they were napping but she could pick me up in an hour or so. I called Kris next. She answered and was able to come to the hospital within a few minutes. I got in her van and LOST IT. Tears and snot and all....totally lost it. Got home. Didn't have keys. So I broke in my own home...nice. I got to the kitchen and just lost it even more. I remember sobbing over the sink. This is my snapshot - me sobbing over the kitchen sink and apologizing to a not present Morgann for not being able to go to SC with her and for all the doctors appointments and stress we put on her over the last year. I don't know what Kris said or did. But she was THERE. Somehow she got me to callm down...and got me to lay down and just breath.. She found care for Mr. I. She helped me find my keys. I dont remember what happened next. Thank you Kris. Somehow Mr. I was delivered to another foster family who lovingly took care of him for a few days. I somehow got back to the hospital - and was sent home by our awesome nurse Lori, who assured me she would call if anything came up and that K was her only patient and she would stay with him all night. She did and he was fine and he came home the next day.

So here we are, five months later. And we are okay. Morgann is fine. She is happy and loves her brothers. K is doing pretty good minus a runny nose and lots of drooling - darn molars! Mr. I is also doing great and finally doesnt puke everything all the time. Rich is a loving dad of three. And me, I am just remembering what we have been through and so thankful that its been FIVE MONTHS. And its been so worth it. And even if we do have some crisis happen and we are in the hospital again on Christmas. It will still be okay. God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good. In sickness and in health. All the time. Even when I am crazy. God is good.

5 months!!

2010-12-21T20:01:00.000-08:00

5 months!! Elliot Hospital, we love ya! But its so good not have been in patient in over 5 months!!

This is HUGE for us.

K hasn't had to have daytime supplemental oxygen since May too. Yay for getting healthier lungs.

Treating Special Needs kids holistically

2010-12-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

I have said many times, that I feel so blessed and fortunate to have Dr. O as the boys PCP. She is truly an answer to prayers. I know that their health has improved ten-fold since being seen and treated by her. Part of it was probably just growing stronger and older, but I know the other part is Dr. O. We treated our last ear infection for K with garlic drops. He was better with in 24 hours. No antibiotics required and no repercussions of yeast.

I follow a couple blogs of medically needy kids. They all receive wonderful, loving care. However, I have to wonder, how would these sweet kids respond if they were treated holistically versus using conventional medicine? I wonder if doctors integrated holistic care with the conventional treatment, what the success rates would be? One guy I read about, is resistant to most antibiotics, would grape seed extract work for him? (K and I have both had wonderful success with GSE a few infections ago.) I do realize that it is really uncharted territories. Would even attempting holistic treatment be worth the risk? I simply can't answer that. Though the boys are considered "medically fragile" their level of fragility is minute compared to many of their peers who are seen by the same Complex Care doctors.

We have been antibiotic free since the summer. Yet, we do use conventional breathing treatments daily. We aren't anti modern medicine. However, I do wonder if perhaps we could find breathing treatments that were holistic based and see how they work for the boys. They are chronically congested and nasally. (Though I do remember Morgann being pretty snotty all the time her first few winters, maybe its normal snotty-ness) Colds for us are a pretty big deal. They have a normal amount of colds, however, we have to treat them much more proactively than Morgann who only get a tissue and snuggles.

That said, I am again thankful for the guidance of our doctor and the ability to treat the boys more naturally. (Morgann is still antibiotic free at the age of almost 6.) But, I know if crisis hits again, we will do what it takes to see the boys healthy again - round the clock albuterol, prednisone, IV abx...)For now, I do think our holistic treatment is working well to prevent those events.

Happy Birthday Sweet sweet boys!

2010-12-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

My guys turned two!

We had a wonderful birthday party for them filled with friends and family.

Everyone always said 2 is the magic number for their health and development and for the past month or so, it seems to be. They are doing so well. I am so happy to have these little men in our lives.

Adoption

2010-11-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

Adopting through foster care is a complex process and there are quite a few different routes the state and foster-to-adoptive parents and biological parents can take. We were hoping to take the "easiest" route, however, that route had a huge roadblock that can not be un-blocked. So, we are now taking the "scenic route", which means that the boys will be in foster care for longer than I had hoped. We pray this scenic route goes as smoothly as possible. Our next court hearing is not until the beginning of March. God is defintely teaching me patience.

Another year milestone

2010-10-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

What?! two posts in one day??

But another year milestone is today. A year ago, I wrote this. K came home after a nearly-six week stay at Children's Hospital at Boston. I doesn't seem that long ago. A few days before K was admitted, he received DTaP, Prevnar, Polio, HiB & the flu shot. He quickly spiked a fever. He got very junky and had trouble breathing. He got very very sick. (much worse than when he did have the flu in August) We went back to the doctor. They called an ambulance. We went to Elliot. Blood work, IV's oxygen, lots of suction, and chest x-rays. Then the news that his situation was too complex to stay at Elliot and that the doctor in the ER disagreed with the care K was getting at the previous children's hospital we had been discharged from. So he recommended Boston. After a long stay there, they were able to get K his G-J tube, new meds, and a good team of care. We are grateful for his time in Boston. He's a new kid now with his G-J and he is thankful they did another swallow study that showed he could in fact swallow purees. That boy LOVES to eat. I've run into Dr. Katie O'Donnell twice while were were doing outpatient clinics in Boston. She is AMAZED at how far K has come...and that he never had to come back for another inpatient visit!

I know that he may end up back down there sometime. But I know my God is THE God of miracles and healing - and we've seen so much healing in K. It is amazing.

We are also very thankful for our new wonderful PCP who works with us to ensure K has the best care.

Kindergarten

2010-10-29T12:05:00.001-07:00

Morgann had a Harvest Party today at school. I went and helped out - how mom-ish of me:) I am very thankful for a beautiful day like today where I could just be "mom". It was so fun watching my little girl be a a Kindergartener. Can I keep her one for a couple of years though? Please?

3 months

2010-10-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

We hit a *Big* milestone - we have gone three months with out having a sick inpatient hospital stay! Woohoo! Our previous record was a one month!

Pray with us that we have a healthy winter:)

Lester

2010-10-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

Oh Lester.

You must be one of the most tolerant cats in the world.

Or one of the most, well, dumb cat in the world.

But honestly, I think Lester likes the attention.

Morgann and Ajla love to play dress up with Lester. This weekend, Lester was their baby and they spent the afternoon dressing her in onesies, bibs, baby hats and strolling her around.

You are a good cat Lester and a good friend for Morgann and Ajla and all of the other neighborhoods who adore you.

P.S. stop hitching rides in our neighbor's vehichles. They don't like hauling your furry little bum all over Manchester:)

make a wish...or prayer...

2010-09-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

So, August 24, our court date came and went....and basically has been continued...to this Tuesday. Prayerfully, things will go well and permanacy will just be around the corner.

Miss Morgann started Kindergarten last week. I am getting used to that new routine. I had to reschedule a bizillion doctor appointments because they all conflicted with Morgann's drop off / pick up. But thats okay. She is loving school.

The boys are great. Having a healthy spell. K is struggling a little bit with allergies. But handling them very well.

Me, I am great. Rich and I had a great weekend away and mom and dad came up to watch the kiddos. We go yearly to a Pastor and Wives Encouragement Retreat. Its always awesome and this year was no different. Lots of great food, fellowship, good teaching and time with Rich. We went fishing/canoeing in the Great North Woods and I caught a good sized bass. :)

More later...maybe I will one day blog regularly....maybe.

So much to say

2010-08-24T18:04:00.001-07:00

So little to post.

Ever have a day, when your brain is just fried? I'm sure you have. Today is one of those days. My brain feels mushy and achy. I have lots to say. But no brain.

So yeh, that was deep. Deep mushy fried brain.

One year ago

2010-08-05T14:34:00.001-07:00

One year ago.
I was laying in bed taking a nap after work. We had sent our first foster placement home a week earlier. I was still grieving his loss. My phone was in the kitchen. It was a Restricted Caller ID. Amber saw it and ran to give it to me. It was "K" , a placement worker. Twins. 6 months old. Cuddly. One with a feeding tube. We said yes.

We met Baby I a few hours later. Baby K was admitted at Elliot Hospital. I met K the next day at Elliot. I believe that Linda was the nurse on duty. I am sure she would tell you how terrified I was to hold him. How I wouldn't pick him up on my own. (that scary IV and cannula!). I would be lying if I said it was love at first sight. It was a very tough first month. I almost called it quits a few times. But God had other plans. He wanted us to have these boys.

A year later, it is love at every sight. Even when I don't like the sight - like poop, or low oxygen sats. But I love those boys with all my heart. (And of course Morgann too)

adoption

2010-08-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

Please keep us in your prayers. We have an important court date coming up on August 24th. We need wisdom and are praying that one of the parties to the case is in a good state of mind on this day.

Thank you!

This one

2010-07-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

this one.

he likes to keep us on our toes.

he must really like rides in ambulances.

but he ought to learn that rides in ambulances = lots of pokes, getting a catheter, ouch! and other not-so-fun stuff in the hospital.

for an ear infection.

he could have been on a plane to SC. But instead chose to visit our friends at Elliot.

but I also know: "All things work together for good to them that love God."

And we do.

And we know its part of his plan.

So now we are home again. His ears have been treated by a very strong antibiotic.

His lungs are clear.

We are getting a new pulminologist because of our good friends at Elliot.

Things worked out.

We aren't chilling on the beach in SC.

But this is where I am supposed to be. At home. With K sleeping soundly in the other room. While I watch TV, drink sparkling grape juice and blog.

It all does work together for good.

And much thanks again to Dr. Abrams, who gave me hope a year ago when K was sick. And gives us hope today. And stands by us and advocates for us.

Camping

2010-06-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went camping. Tent camping. The five of us in a tent. Along with some oxygen, a pulse ox, our feeding tube set up, and nebulizer. And guess what, we had a blast! The medical stuff barely got in the way and K was doing so awesome. He has been so healthy lately.

It was foster care appreciation weekend at Jellystone Park in Ashland NH. I thought that Jellystone would be completely cheesy for camping - but it was so fun and located on a pretty river. Plus, I am pretty sure they spray for mosquitoes - it was nice camping without slathering in OFF! and only getting two bites. (When we unpacked at home, I got about 4 four bites!) Morgann had an awesome time. She loved the splash park and the pool and swimming in the river. I enjoyed just sitting quietly under our canopy while the boys slept outside, by the river. It was serene.

Much thanks to Jellystone for the free campsites. We will be back:)

The start of Summer

2010-06-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, Memorial Day weekend. What a lovely break and start into the summer. Splashing in pools, cook outs, fishing, baking pies, long walks...it was refreshing:)

Three in a row

2010-05-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

Lots of posts!

So my little guy is home and taking a good nap. He basically boycotted sleep in the hospital. He seems perfect:) He's such a little miracle and a fighter.

So we head out on Thursday for Virginia to celebrate the life of Grandma Peggye. She will be missed. I am so glad she got to meet the boys in February.

Miracle?

2010-05-09T16:32:00.000-07:00

After my last post, I fell asleep until 5:45 a.m. and texted Rich at the hospital. K was doing really well. No fever and happy. I later joined them at the hospital and got the whole story. So K threw up as soon as they got in the ambulance. His chest X-ray looked okay and all they could find was an ear infection. His WBC was 29000 which is high - and indicates infection. Here's the crazy thing. My little fighter went from a fever from 106.7 to 98.6 with just one dose of tyelonol - and he threw up within 20 minutes of getting that dose. He did not receive IV antibiotics until later in the morning - like 7 a.m. His fever NEVER came back. I really think God healed that little bugger. Today he seems perfect. Super happy. Great oxygen saturation levels on room air - like 96-98% which is REALLY high for him. He has had two rounds of IV antibiotics and will stay tonight so they can do a third round in the morning - but he is really pretty much perfect for K. Totally unexpected and miraculous. After the ambulance left at 3:15 a.m. early Saturday morning, I completely expected him to be intubated and life flighted to a hospital with a PICU. God had other plans!

Crippling Fear

2010-05-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I woke up to the familiar beeping of K's alarm. Its not a crisis anymore when I hear it go off. Most of the time, it is a false alarm or has fallen off his foot. Tonight, however, it was the real deal. When I got in his room, both alarms were red - heart rate and oxygen levels. My heart skipped a beat - HR 211, O2 83. A high heart rate always indicates fever for K. I grabbed the thermometer off his dresser and stuck it in his mouth. 106.7. I felt paralyzed. I grabbed the tylenol from his dresser, measured out 5mL and put it in his G-tube. I ran to the kitchen to get water to flush his G-tube and woke up Rich. Found my phone in the kitchen and called 911. Took K off the low flow oxygen regulator and hooked him up to the big concentrator and upped his O's to 3 ltr. That's alot of O2 for my boy. Way too much. He still was satting low. I grabbed K out of the crib and held him upright to try to keep him awake. He started crying. To me, crying was good thing. I stuck my finger in his hand and he gripped it. The paramedics arrived. Whisked him off to the ambulance. Then I crumbled. Nausea and shaking overcame my body. Called my mom. She tried to calm my very anxious heart. She prayed with me. Called Rich. Fever down to 104. O2 down to 2 ltr and 97%. I could breath normally again. My shaking stopped. I wish I had more faith to not be overcome with fear and trembling even when my baby's health is so fragile.

God give me more faith. More trust. Give me the strength when I am crippled with fear. Protect my children.

Thing 1

2010-04-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

Thing1 needs a sneak peak picture too, don't you think?

Raise your hands

2010-04-29T08:31:00.001-07:00

if you want to see this cute boy? I can't wait to be able to share MORE of this sweet boy. He's adorable.

But for now, this will have to do, I suppose.
.

this and that

2010-04-12T07:22:00.001-07:00

I'm hanging out (and quite bored) in room 708 at Children's Hospital of Boston with Mr. I. I am happy because I know he is getting superb care. We are in one of the best children's hospitals in the world and for that, we are very, very blessed. I would love one day to move back to VA (years from now) - but I will hate to ever leave the care of Boston.

I am also feeling a bit sorry for myself being here. Yesterday was gorgeous. Morgann started learning to ride her bike with out training wheels. And I missed it:-( And she read a lot of her bed-time story book herself. Once we get passed all the weird phonics in the English language, she will be a reader. (She thought that "Eigh" saying "ay" was really silly! I must agree with her.) She also prayed last night in sign language. She and Mr. K are working on signing! After one video I am super impressed on the amount of words she can sign already. I'm ready to be back home with my Morgann (and K too.)

Speaking of signing, we've been working with the boys with signing and a nurse yesterday asked if Mr. I signs. She said he was signing "more" and "food" while I was gone. It figures - that boy loves to eat! I am really happy he is starting to communicate. We are seeing slow but steady progress with his development. He also started holding his own bottle about two weeks ago. It is so nice!

K is doing okay. He has the same virus as Mr. I (Parainfluenza Virus Type 3). He is on a little bit of oxygen but doing pretty well none the less. Just a bit cranky. He is starting to sit better and play more. He is rolling a lot more to get toys.

I just realized that Mr. I is asleep and I'm watching Sesame Street. And is it bad, that I've been watching shows like "ICarly" even when I don't have a child around?

Alright, I've blabbered enough. Have a great week.

Five Year Old

2010-03-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

Five years went so fast.

It seemed like just yesterday we were leaving Wake Med in our old Jeep Cherokee trying to avoid every pothole so not to bump our little newborn. Now, she thinks that the more bumps while driving, the better.

She is Independent. Smart. Funny. Clever. Helper. Curious. Talkative.

Our five year old.

We love you.

P.S. Stop growing up so fast.

Hospital Mom

2010-03-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

So in case you haven't noticed, my blog has become more of a journal of our adventures in health care for two precious boys. Of course I love my sweet FIVE year old and have lots to say about her - but its not like the "Gotta just get my frustrations out on paper, errr, blog" kind of writing that I've felt like doing. (But I do need to post some pics from her birthday!) Just a disclaimer.

Our visit in Virginia ended with a two-day hospital stay for Mr. I. I think we handled it well and now Mr. I is well on his road to recovery. These babies just love hospitals I believe.

I now know that E.R. visits are much better when surrounded by family.

My mom came to the E.R. with us each time. She helped get IV's started and was a pillar of support. She recruited friends to come help with getting I's IV in the last time. He is quite a hard stick.

On the last visit, my cousin, Luke was working. He works in radiology. Every half hour or so, he would stop by our room and check in. He would pat Rich on the back. Give me a hug. Its that kind of support that is priceless in moments of stress. I can't express how thankful I was to have Luke and my mom around. They made a stressful event a bit more bearable.

God is good. All the time. And so good to give us family like mine.

2010-02-25T08:38:00.001-08:00

This week has been tough. We are on "vacation." So far, we have had two E.R. visits, three sick kids and 5 prescriptions filled.

My friend Lacey posted this quote on one of her latest blog posts:
"Whenever God inspires, the initiative is a moral one. We must do the thing and not lie like a log. If we will arise and shine, drudgery becomes divinely transfigured.

Drudgery is one of the finest touchstones of character there is. Drudgery is work that is very far removed from anything to do with the ideal – the utterly mean, grubby things; and when we come in contact with them we know instantly whether or not we are spiritually real. Read John 13. We see the Incarnate God doing the most desperate piece of drudgery, washing fishermen’s feet, and he says – “If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.” It requires the inspiration of God to go through drudgery with the light of God upon it. Some people do a certain thing and the way in which they do it hallows that thing for ever afterwards. It may be the most commonplace thing, but after we have seen them do it, it becomes different. When the Lord does a thing through us, He always transfigures it. Our Lord took on Him human flesh and transfigured it, and it has become for every saint the temple of the Holy Ghost." Oswald Chambers

I opened up a Bible Gateway tab: and clicked on John 14. (Even though Mr. Chambers said John 13...I misread it or forgot, or perhaps God divinely intervened.)

Verse 1: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."

Verse 27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Verses 15-23 speak a lot about obeying. "If you love me, you will obey what I command" (15)

So perhaps Mr. Chambers wanted me to read chapter 13. (I should probably go do that too) but God had other plans.

He reminded me through Mr. Chambers that even in the midst of trudgery - everyday nitty gritty hard life - which for our family includes many many hospital stays, ER visits, and prescriptions, breathing treatments, and long sleepless nights - that it is for really, our good. I am not to be troubled or dismayed. God is there beside me. I can press on. And I need to just...well do it. Obey God. In his divine plan he gave us two very special medically needy boys. And someday we will see something awesome come out of it. Though those baby boys' smiles are awesome in themselves.

Another reminder: "I do not give to you as the world gives" verse 27. God has given us two precious gifts. The world may not understand or see it that way. But God, his way is bigger and his gifts are better than any worldly gift.

Honestly, I will be very disappointed if tomorrow (on sweet Morgann's 5th birthday) those boys need another E.R. visit. I will be mad. I will ask God: "WHY??" And if that happens, I pray that God reminds me that this "drudgery" is for his glory, to transform my life, and a blessing to us in disguise. And that I will obey God and give him the glory.

Special

2010-01-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

"Special needs" is such a scary term. At least for me. Its a word that is used many time with hushed voices and looks of concern and sorrow.

The other night I spent about an hour try to find clothing for K that works well with his G-J, pulse ox, and oxygen. I specifically like footed pajamas that snap up. They work great. But commonly only come in sizes up to 9 mo. One company makes them up to 18 mo., but at $50 a pair, well that's just not in the budget these days. I googled: "Clothing for G-tubes". Inevitably all the pages were on "Special needs." Do I really have a special needs child (or children)? It made me sad. All my pre-conceived notions about special needs children. The fear. The anxiety I once possessed while pregnant with Morgann that something would be wrong.

The thing is.

All of our kids are special.

They all have some sort of special needs.

And God knows these needs and will give us the strength to face them. Whether its K's interesting choice of accessories or Morgann's need for more discipline and structure.

Not to brag, but I'm constantly being told: "How great a job" we are doing with K and I. How flexible we are..blah blah blah. It is flattering. But honestly, it is not us.

It's God.

And to Him, I need to give more glory. Because sadly, I just usually say "thank you" and don't give the credit to the One who gives us the strength, patience and love for our three very special needs children.

Words I will never forget

2009-12-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

It was almost four months ago. Baby K had a very serious episode and we were in the E.R. I was terrified. K was very sick. Looking back at our three E.R. experiences, I now know that if you are whisked back ASAP and surrounded immediately by nurses and the doctor - its not that the E.R. is super efficient, its that the patient is in bad shape. I was thankful that our last two visits we were not seen by the doctor within minutes. But that's not the point of this post.

Things calmed down a few hours later, and I had a chance to go to the bathroom to regroup and just breathe and cry in private, I went back into K's room. The pediatric doctor arrived. I wish I knew her name so I could thank her for her treatment of us. She was gentle and kind. She complimented my diaper bag. (Marie Hasty makes the best diaper bags, FYI.) She looked gently into K's ears and began talking to K. I could tell by her voice that she meant what she said. She told K:"You are going to grow up to be big and strong. You are such a handsome boy. You are going to go to Kindergarten and you are going to learn to read and write and do math. The girls are going to love you. They are going to say, 'Ooh there is K. Isn't he handsome? Isn't he smart. We just love him.' You are going to grow, be smart, and be healthy."

I'll never forget those words. Words of comfort and hope midst so much negativity. And those are our prayers for our sweet Little K. That he grows big and strong and healthy..and of course, that the girls love him;-)

Home sweet home

2009-10-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Our little K-man is home after 5 weeks, 3 days at Children's Hospital of Boston. He received wonderful care down there - but we are very happy to have him home in our arms. We are especially thankful for Dr. Katie O'Donnell who was an awesome advocate for K's care. Thank you, Dr. Katie!

We came home with a new course of meds and a new treatment plan. We are cautiously optimistic that this will keep K out of Children's. Please pray with us that God protects little K from all the colds and flus this season!

Perspective

2009-10-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Having a baby in the hospital is tiring and stressful. We love visiting K. We do not love the hour + drive to Boston.

After having a baby in the hospital for over a month, I was a just a bit miffed to hear that that the pulmonary doctor wanted to re-run a test. (this test takes about a week to be scheduled, performed, and then have the results read.) Especially when about an hour earlier, we were being prepped on going home. It was disappointing to say the least.

My mom, dad, Morgann, Baby I and I were on a walk around Boston near the hospital when I heard the news that K. would be staying for the next week or so. I was mad. I was cranky. I was not rejoicing that he has the best care in the country. My mom chided me to thank God anyways. I mumbled under my breath like a rebellious toddler apologizing, "thank you God that he is staying." I didn't mean it at all.

As we walked closer to the hospital, a hearse was leaving Boston Children's Hospital. At first, I did not even realize what that meant. Mom pointed it out to me - Abbey - a hearse just left the hospital. A mommy and daddy are NEVER taking their baby home. A parent's worst tragedy. I stopped and prayed for that family. Though we do not know K's future, it is seemingly not that grim. He will come home. He will get stronger. And I firmly believe he will LIVE. K will live life. My perpective was quickly changed. Boston is doing above and beyond to ensure K thrives. And I am even grateful that he is still in the hospital getting the best care.

Nini Bambini and Willowbend

2009-10-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

Just saw this news from Nini Bambini in Bedford, which I thought is very exciting! I love Willowbend Family Practice. They are hands down the best medical practice I have ever encountered in my life. Morgann no longer goes to Willowbend because her aweome Willowbend doctor started an off-shoot practice, but Rich and I still have our doctor there. I have only heard wonderful things about Dr. Oteri. She also does not force parents to follow the AAP vaccine guidelines, but does gradual, slower vaccine schedule which I fully support and follow! (don't get me started on the AAP poisoning of our children with levels of aluminum that are beyond the EPA recommendations...)

(I would love to be allowed to switch the boys to their care)

It Takes A Village

We are THRILLED to announce a new partnership with Willow Bend Family Practice that will offer group well-child visits with Dr. Concetta Oteri at NiNi Bambini! Parents and babies will meet with Dr. Oteri in our classroom for questions about growth and development, spending time together learning while their babies play. Dr. Oteri will then briefly examine each child individually. All routine well-child care, including vaccines, are provided in an environment of support and wellness. For more information or to meet Dr. Oteri, bring your family to our open house on Thursday, October 15th at 5:30 p.m. or call Willow Bend Family Practice at 663-8060.

Cheese with your whine?

2009-09-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

Our sweet, sweet foster son, K is back in the hospital. This time he's in Boston. My heart breaks for this little trooper. We had quite an experience on Sunday - complete with me and Rich getting our first ambulance rides. We told K that he better get a good job when he grows up to help repay all the tax dollars he's been spending lately. But I do have very high hopes for this little boy when he grows up. He is going to be something special.

Today I am just sad. Sad for K. Sad for us. Sad for Morgann. Sad for baby I. Just sad. My tear-factory is flowing. Our hearts, energy, souls, time, and lack of sleep are wrapped up in this special little boy. Part of me doesn't know how long we can continue doing what we are doing. The other part never wants to lose him. I'm sure other parents of medically fragile children feel what we are feeling. In fact, I saw it in their eyes yesterday while down at the Children's hospital. 11 floors of hospital comitted to caring for kids. Its overwhelming.

I have been spoiled by Morgann's perfect health. We've had one sick visit and she's never even had antibiotics or a prescription in her 4.5 years of life. We see Dr. T once a year and he marvels at her immune system. I'm blessed by that. Now, when I travel with K, my car is filled with medical supplies that are worth at least 5x the amount of our vehicle.

And today, I am just...sad. Please pray for us and our sweet little K.

A weekend away

2009-09-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

Every weekend after Labor Day, Rich and I are blessed to attend the Pastor's Encouragement Retreat sponsored by Phil Waldrep ministries. It is a wonderful, relaxing, encouraging, and basically spoiling weekend sponsored by people who have a passion for providing a weekend of solace for New England pastors and their wives. Being able to come together with so many people in the same situations as us and sharing with one another is also a precious time. (I also met two other foster parenting couples!) Rich and I look forward to this weekend every year.

Dad and Sarah came down last week for Morgann to take her to VA for a week. I hear she is having a fabulous time - though I miss her a lot today! We were able to get respite care for the boys. They seemed to have a good weekend there.

And us, well we had a perfect weekend. The retreat was great, the speakers were inspiring, the food was delicous, and we went canoeing and fishing and the fish were biting - we caught 8 in two hours! It was lovely. And the weather was perfect to boot. Life seems a bit easier to tackle after weekends like these. We are refreshed and ready to take on our crazy lives again:-)

P.S. Who wants the kids next year Sept 9-11? Anyone??

3 kids...

2009-09-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

All three kids are at home now:) We are very happy Baby K is home and mostly healthy. Please keep his health in your prayers as he is medically very fragile.

We will have 40 hours a week of nursing care for him. I'm thankful for that - and will be able to get some good sleep some nights as he is on monitors that alarm quite often.

My brain is mush.

I hear that being pregnant is what takes part of your brain away. I don't agree. It is the kids, they must somehow suck it out when you are changing their diapers. :)

We have three kids. That is crazy. Not so much having three children is crazy, but going from one kid, to two, back to one, then to three, two of which are babies, is a bit crazy. And its only been 12 weeks since we became "true" foster parents.

In Limbo

2009-08-31T08:39:00.000-07:00

It feels like this past week, I've been just hanging in there and waiting. Things are about the same with K: he's still up at CHaD. He seems tired of being there. Baby I started daycare and that has been a tremendous help. I feel like we have no great direction or plan right now with how life will be after K is discharged and I'm supposed to start doing Pre-K stuff with Morgann. She is begging me to do school and teach her to read.. The planner in me doesn't like that. I know things will work. The Bible tells us in fact that it will work out, however, my plans are not God's plans and His timing is not my timing, and I just need to wait. Waiting is hard. Probably a lot harder than God intended it to be, however, I make it hard.

what to say, what to say...

2009-08-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have been eventful to say the least. In fact, the entire summer has been quite eventful. This is the first week in almost 9 weeks, that its just us at home - that being, Me, Rich, Morgann and our foster kid(s). It has been nice just being us for a few days. We love having guests stay with us, but this a welcomed change.

Our sweet little foster son, K, is now at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth. Please pray that the doctor's have wisdom and help correct his problems. He's been quite a sick little guy. He gave us quite a scare on Sunday night. Thankfully we acted very quickly and he was able to turn from critical to stable very quickly. We won't be able to visit K every day, but trust that God will take good care of him while he is at CHaD.

Its been quite a learning experience. Its really made me realize how much endurance humans can have, especially when they are trusting in God. I faced a very scary situation in the ER, where, I thought previously, I would never be able to withstand something like that, however, once I began to pray, and pray hard, I was given strength that only can come from God. God continues to provide for us and take care of us. We don't know what the future holds for us and our sweet foster babies, but we will just rest in knowing that each day is a blessing. I wrote earlier about fearing the loss of our foster son W. I learned to cherish the time I had with him, as I did not know how long he would be with us. I was heartbroken when he left, but God comforted us and brought us new blessings. Our foster twins do not replace W, but give us new joys (and trials, and lots of spit up and poop.)

Its not to say that I am not tired. I'm exhausted. I'm emotional and a bit cranky. But God is getting us through this. We are blessed to have each other, these sweet boys and our sweet, patient and ever helpful (but not always obedient) Morgann.

Funny faces

2009-08-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

People are fascinated by twins. I know I like to look at twin babies and coo. However, our twins don't exactly match us at all. They don't look a thing like Rich or myself. Me, being a hyper-Caucasian, especially look nothing like these sweet little bundles of joy (and poop, spit-up, and drool).

Leaving the hospital, we were stopped about 3 times by people who wanted to coo at these little boys. They'd first look at the babies, make funny baby noises, say how cute the boys were and then look at me and Morgann. Then their face would say it all - how did they get babies that look like that? I even had one well meaning, but out of line lady ask me: Do they look like their father? My bad response: I don't know. Hahahaha!

Last night, we went on a walk, this time with Rich, and we got the same reactions. It was kind of funny, but also makes the puritan in myself want to say: I promise! I did not cheat on my husband!

Oh the funny joys of fostering.

T for Two

2009-08-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

And T for Twins
And Two Twins for me.

Oh boy. Make that Oh boys!

2 eight month old baby boys.

Baby I is already here. Baby K will hopefully be well enough to come home soon.

Please pray for us as we adjust to life as a family of 5 and for Baby K's health.

I know we can do this. I know it will be hard. Make that, I know we can only do this with God's strength. And as someone told me the other day: God wouldn't have sent them to you if you couldn't do it. I agree.

That Mom

2009-08-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

Rich, Morgann, and I went to Maine for a long weekend. We had a super fabulous trip. It was nice to get away from people and spend time together. As most of you know, we lost our sweet little foster baby last week and we really needed the time to heal.

But that's not really the point of my post, just the setting.

On our journeys in Maine, we headed to Freeport for the evening. We had planned on going to a free Blue's Traveler's concert at LL Bean. Now, Freeport is a quaint idyllic Maine town that has sold out to commercialism, yet, cons its visitors into thinking that they are not in fact being commercialistic because the outlets are all located in historic buildings. I could blog on about that being the ultimate sell-out of all, but thats still not my point. Perhaps another day...
The atmosophere of Freeport is described basically as: LL Bean wearing, reusable bag toting, Mclaren stroller pushing, caucasian shoppers (who in fact are a lot like me.)

It was a bit crowded and Rich and I just weren't feeling it there. We wanted to get away from people and were just a bit critical of Freeport because basically outlets have somehow taken over the entire historic downtown village area. We were being just a tad bit judgemental, no doubt.

But a cute little local candy shop sucked us in. They had a big display of kiddie candies - paper dots, gold coins, lipstick candy, wax bottles, candy necklaces, all the good stuff - even totally un-politically correct candy cigarettes! Then I saw whistle pops. Morgann was allowed to pick out 4 pieces of candy - she had chosen a candy necklace, a lipstick candy, Neccos and was debating the last one - and I, being That Mom, pointed out the whistle pop to Morgann - Morgann look! A whistle pop! You can make noise while you have candy!! She was more than delighted. We paid our $1.10 for her candy picks and left the store. She picked out her first piece of candy, which of course, as the whistle pop. I happily gave it to her and she began to loudly whistle her whistle pop. I just laughed. I was then That Mom who allowed her little girl to loudly whistle her whistle pop while going from store to store (while not purchasing anything.) Rich said that I would end up on some mom's blog about how dare that other mom let her daughter disturb everyone with that darn whistle pop. After she finished her whistle pop, we decided to skip the concert and just head on to Bath, Me, where we enjoyed a quiet evening out in a non-crowded, less touristy town.

Pictureless

2009-07-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

I've been really wanting to post some pictures, but haven't. I want to be able to take pictures of our life with two kids, post them, but I can not. :( But that is just a small sacrifice that is totally worth it. Life is good and busy. We have Franklin Heights Baptist Church coming up this week with some of their youth to put on a Sports Camp for the neighborhood kids. The kids I've talked to are all super excited about it. Fun times!

Without posting specifics, please keep Little Dude's health in your prayers. And pray that God keeps him in a safe living situation. Thank you:)

Happenings

2009-07-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

I have all sorts of happenings I could post pictures and blog about.

Like...

...our fun church camping trip with two kiddos

...our awesome block party in front of the house

...our friends from Florida visiting

...Vacation Bible school going on this week

...my love of the Goldenrod

...how happy Little Dude has been since Monday

...Morgann's first crush

...how my husband is better than Mike or Brian

...how I spewed tea all over the keyboard reading Sarah's blog

But I don't have time. In fact, I should be working, instead of pretending to work while reading blogs. Since the arrival of Little Dude, our lives have been on super-busy mode. It has been fun, emotional, tiring, exciting, challenging, constant activities, sleep deprived three weeks. I wouldn't trade our lives for anything:) But a little sleep and downtime would not be turned down!

Words can not express

2009-06-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

I just can not find the right words to post how I feel and what is going on. I do not know how much I am allowed to post anyways.

Life with the little guy is good. He has adjusted swimmingly. He's a wonderful, wonderful kid. We are smitten.

Which is great - and scary at the same time. After six short days, he's fit right into our little family. Morgann is an awesome helper and loves her baby brother. She does know that he may leave soon and does not like that idea. We talk about it every day.

For now, we are just enjoying the time we have with this little blessing and loving him as much as possible.

Each night, I put him to bed, and he falls asleep quickly in my arms. His lips purse together, his little chubby fingers lay gently on my arm and he is at peace. It's a gift I will always treasure and fear will leave too soon.

Every child is a gift from God. We do not know how long we will have our children - biological, adopted, or foster: be it one week, one year, or fifty years. Each day is a gift. So I am learning to treasure each day with my two kids, but still working on not fearing the future.

Oh the things you forget....

2009-06-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

For example: One must first feed the baby THEN give the baby a bath.

At least the dog likes all the flying food.

:)

oh baby

2009-06-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

so there's a new little dude hanging out for a while at the Clegg house. He doesn't seem to like to sleep at night. 2:33 a.m. Finally fell asleep. I'm sure it was quite a day for this little dude. Pray for us and for good sleep.....

now I sleep....

Thoughts on parenting....

2009-06-15T09:23:00.001-07:00

I came across this from another blog that I like to read: Mama Is. While, I don't agree with everything she writes about, I love her style and her old Hathor comics. :)

THE MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories
We drink alcohol without guilt*
We reject the inner Puritan*
We don’t waste money on family days out and holidays
An idle parent is a thrifty parent
An idle parent is a creative parent
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We play in the fields and forests
We push them into the garden and shut the door so we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment
We reject health and safety guidelines
We embrace responsibility
There are many paths
More play, less work

What are your thoughts? Its always a bit refreshing to find a view that lines up somewhat close to my views on parenting, but in reality our house doesn't always look that way.....but ideally, it would line up closely.

Us, a Jesus loving, thrifty, city dwelling, outdoor and fun loving, striving towards "less is more" type of family. And yes, Morgann and I love to lie in bed together as long as possible. :-)

* We don't drink. I cook with wine and have no guilt in doing so;)
* I'm not sure what rejecting the inner Puritan is supposed to mean. We love God by loving God we live our lives to glorify Him. We don't live the the Law, but out of love of Jesus.

I think I want to write more on this later. But Morgann and the Hasty kids are on their way and I should take my freshly folded, but not put away, laundry off the couch and maybe put it away, or just throw it back in the basket, before they arrive;)

Playing House

2009-05-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Do you remember playing house as a kid? It was one of my favorite past times. Morgann has been playing house with her neighborhood friends quite often. It is so cute to watch and listen.

What a cute family.

Sarah and I think Guerto is the cutest boy ever! (He's pretty darn stylish for a 5 year old, complete with a faux-hawk.) He's a sweetie and he and Morgann have such a fun time together.

Diggin in the Dirt

2009-05-26T10:38:00.001-07:00

Loretta loves to dig dig dig. She's a digger dog. We are pretty sure she is part beagle, part golden retriever, both of which enjoy digging. However, someone else in our house doesn't help with the digging problem. A certain 4 year old little girl. Its okay. we love both the digger girls.

If all goes as planned, we will be meeting a potential foster daughter soon. More details later....but if you want to pray - pray that its a good match and we know for sure if this is the home she is supposed to be in.

Yellow Dog

2009-05-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

We have a favorite local icecream shop -The Goldenrod. They make their own icecream and its wicked good.

I have (another) theory that New Englanders also like ice cream more than any other region. We have many many delicious local places that open seasonally. Our out-of-town guests always comment on the selection when we visit. But Goldenrod is our favorite. My favorite flavor is "Graham Cracker." It is graham cracker flavored ice-cream with chocolate covered crunchy graham chipsand swirled with crushed graham cracker crumbs. I love it. In fact if I was ten years old, I would marry it. It's that good.

Our friend, Ryan from Florida also shares in our enthusiasm for the Goldenrod. Last summer we took him one time. The next day he wanted to go again.However, he kept saying he wanted to go to "The Yellow Dog", it took a while but we figured out where he wanted to go. Happily we obliged.

So, here's our first summah trip to the Yellow Dog. It was after Morgann's school concert. (I know its not summer officially, but hey, we have no snow on the ground, thus its summer in my book!)

Love Letter

2009-05-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Trader Joe,
Thank you for being so wonderful for lunchtime. My lunches used to be so sad or non-existent asI do not enjoy the typical sandwich. But once you came into my life, lunch came alive again! Rice sticks with hummus and hot sauce, or wraps with lettuce, tomato and hummus, or sushi. Snow peas, carrots, apples, bananas. Or even salmon and couscous. Lunch, is alive. And my budget is still alive as well. My little girl adores you too. Her favorites are the cheese sticks, organic animal cracker and like me the hummus! Thank you dear friend Joe.

And I can afford to eat you for lunch every day. You are a true friend.

Love,
Abbey

P.S. see you next Wednesday after work. I'm so glad you are part of my new commute to Mass.

Let the Little Children Come

2009-05-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a topic to blog about recently. We've been up to our normal activities: church, chaplaincy, work, community center, and random craziness. But also busy squeaking in any spare minutes outside - its been so beautiful. I am convinced that New Englanders enjoy warm weather than any other region. If its warm, everyone is out doors. Lawn chairs in driveways. Canoes on the rooftops. Neighbors hanging out. Yard work. Kids on the loose, which we call "Feral Children." On any given sunny day, our yard is filled with the feral children. I am praying for ways to reach these kids with the Good News of Jesus and the hope they can find in Him. Personally, I know quite a few of these kids have rough home lives. So we just love on these Feral Yard children. Morgann LOVES it. We are also praying for a good deal on a new swingset. We have an older one thats not so safe due to wild feral children;) Its all good though.

Repost from 2008

2009-04-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

We are Virginia Tech.

As we remember those that were lost a year ago (now two years), I want to also remember the beauty of Virginia Tech. VT holds a special place in the heart of anyone who has attended or even visited. Whenever we visit, I totally miss those days. I took a lot of it for granted - the beautiful setting, the tight community, the good food, the freedom.

Remember when.....

we moved in as freshmen? I was so scared.

we ice skated on the Duck Pond that really cold winter (Junior Year) Me, Ambo and Chad.

walking across the drillfield. (a million times.)

Our first kiss in the stairwell of New Res. East.

(OK, only Rich should remember that one!)

Navy ball. Mil ball. Ring dance.

Best of times!

playing "Would you be my friend if....I stuck bubblegum in your hair?" Only if you ate it afterwards!

ELECTRIC!

Primetime in the chapel. Live from Blacksburg....iits primetime. (Old School Cru Meetings)

Fireworks on the drillfield.

We didn't have cell phones...we had IM and ICQ.

Sunday night coffee at oh, gosh, I can't remember the name - the coffee shop next to the Rivermill, that had a cat in there. (I remember now, Bollo's. Of course!)

Going out. I don't drink at all anymore, but we had some fun times playing pool.

Football games. Emma and I one season always painted VT's on our faces. Jon, her future husband would paint his whole head.

There is nothing better than a crisp, sunny autumn day in Lane Stadium, Hokies winning of course!I'll never forget our time there.

We'll never forget the 32 that were killed. Virginia Tech will prevail. It will always be a magical place. Morgann told me on this visit that she wanted to go to school here. I hope she does. I hope she does!

I think about that day two years ago. I was in our fourth floor apartment on Wayne Street. Sitting on our maroon painted couch on the phone with Emma. Staring in disbelief at the television. It was ten o'clock or so. Time stood still. I called mom. I called Maggie. I called Sarah. SARAH?? Where is Sarah?? I got on Hokie SPA to look up classes in Norris. I remember Sarah had some class the *could* be in Norris. Of course I didn't know which class it was exactly....Finally mom called. Sarah was safe, heartbroken, but safe. Relief. Then sadness. What about the parents and siblings that did not get that call? My prayers are with those families today.

Full Term

2009-04-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

I've thought of the foster care process as a pregnancy so that I would not get too discouraged about how the process: the amount of hoops to jump, inspections, paperwork, home renovations, to name a few. The classes were the first trimester and took about 12 weeks (Thankfully without any vomiting!) The paperwork and inspections were trimester two and took about 12 weeks too. Now we are in the third trimester. In fact, we are full term...37 weeks or so!

We are LICENSED with the state! Yahoo!! If Morgann's arrival is anything like the arrival of our first foster kiddo - it will be a little of a wait. So I will try to be patient........but still hope that a kid arrives anyday. Please pray with us that we are able to postively impact the lives of children and that they would all come to know and love Jesus at an early age.

SC and Easter

2009-04-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

The past month has been a blur. Rich and I started up new Chaplain client companies in MA. That has added a bit more on my plate - but reduced Rich at the Y to only 5 hours a week so he can be a bit more sane and spend more time at the church. So that is good! We then went to SC for a quick trip for Rich's grandparent's 50th anniversary party. We had a good time. Last week was, well, challenging. But God is good. Easter was very nice. We had a great church service and we have a great group of people who are committed to the church and wanting to see it grow.Very encouraging! Here are a few pictures from the last month.

Online Friends

2009-03-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

I have a few online friends and blogs that I like to read. Somewhat famous blogs - one of my favorite of which is MyCharmingKids. This mom is a lot like me in "mom philosophy" - the crunchy, breastfeeding advocating, vaccine delaying, co-sleeping, attachment parenting mom - except with 4 little kidlets (I can't imagine, though we would love 4 kids one day...)

Anyway, I added a little link at the end of my blog. Her littlest one is very sick with a heart condition. Check out her blog and pray for the little dude.

Make a new friend everyday....

2009-03-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

I admire kids and their ability to make friends. On Saturday, we attended a friend's birthday party. There was another little girl at the party who was Morgann's age. Morgann showed the little girl her princess computer. Within minutes, they were dancing together and the two were inseparable for three hours. While I, on the other hand, had to push myself to try to be social. Its silly, really, how reserved and uneasy adults can be in social situations. Rich does do a much better job than I at being socialable and making friends. Too bad I can't just bring a princess computer to a bar, introduce myself and make a friend with in two minutes. Perhaps next time I shall try....

P.S. the title is a My Little Pony Song, in case your were wondering....StarSong sings it. Ponies rule in our house right now:)

Sunny Daze

2009-03-07T09:51:00.001-08:00

It's a lovely 55 and sunny here today, but this, well, this was really really nice:) I love New Hampshire, but if I could live the month of February in Florida, well, lets just say, you would not hear me complain:) .

Happy Birthday Morgann

2009-03-01T11:25:00.000-08:00

4 year old already! How on earth did that happen? It seems like just yesterday I was meeting this little girl in the outside world for the first time. I still remember: "It's a girl!" (We did not find out her gender.) Life changed in such a wonderful way with those three words:) I am so blessed to be Morgann's mom.

Morgann spent most of her birthday in a car seat. Poor kid. We were driving from FL to VA, returning from our trip. She was a trooper and was happy and 99% of our 26 driving hours. I, on the otherhand, not so much. We stopped by Me-Ma and Poppie's for dinner and cake, and then crashed and resumed our journey back to NH. Happy Birthday Morgann. We love you:)

Inspector Gadget

2009-02-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

We had the last of our inspections today for becoming licensed foster care parents. Coupled with the home study this week, getting some other forms in place, cleaning, and being a bit nervous about the inspectors coming to look around, I am beat. Once the health inspector left today, I just felt zapped of all energy. Tomorrow, we are fingerprinted. The "man" will know who we are now. :-P (I'm such a libertarian at heart!!) And that is the LAST step. So hopefully by Friday at 9 a.m. we will have completed all the necessary forms, inspections, medical check ups, home study, and giving the state of NH every detail of our lives - such as - what is your favorite feeling? Yep, NH knows my favorite feeling now. Its worth it though.

Anyway, I am excited. Another good thing, is our house has been extremely clean all week and is almost organized. Though, somehow I lost Lo's medical forms. I have searched high and low.....thankfully her vet faxed them through to the Health and Saftey guy ASAP.

We are praying for the future child(ren) that will come live in the Clegg household. We hope they come soon:)

Run, Run, as fast as you can!

2009-02-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

Loretta would like to run, run as fast as she can! But, sadly, I can only sustain a sprint for, eh, 1/10 a mile! But we went on a lovely run just a few minutes ago:) I wore....SHORTS! Its amazingly warm out - 52! Sweating never felt so good. I've kept up running this winter - but not as often as I would like - and as far as I would like - my lungs, I feel, freeze, running in 15 degrees. And I just don't sweat. Perhaps, I do sweat, and it just freezes immediately. Hmmm, that's a theory. I'm just beyond elated at the warm weather today.

I need to take a picture of my old Camry for those who asked still. I will. I promise!

I'm looking forward to running again tomorrow and in FL during winter vacation! Woohoo.

2009-02-03T12:16:00.000-08:00

In my neverending quest to save money (God knew we'd be church planters and made me thrifty since childhood), I am devising a new grocery plan for the month. I have to admit, I have been way slack on keeping up with grocery expenses and attempting to save extra.

So since we moved here, I've seen in the paper an ad for JD Foods. They always had super low looking prices for meat BUT only accepted cash and honestly I am a wimp at trying unfamiliar places. If it wasn't for our Nepali friends, I still would have not gone to the Asian Market. So here's my new plan and the outcome thus far for the month.

We get rent (in cash) on the 3rd. So after depositing most of it, I went over to JD's to check it out. Its in an industrial park and not-so-glamourous. Its like SAM's Club, but much less attractive. But does that really matter? A nice guy works there and he was very helpful.
So I got:
10 lbs of shredded cheddar cheese @ 1.69/lb
5 lbs sliced lunch cheese @ 1.99/lb
10 lbs chicken breasts @ 1.69/lb
5 lbs. potatoes @ 1.69
2 loaves of bread @ 3.00
5 lbs. ground beef @ 1.89/lb

Total tab: $58

I estimate it will be enough meat for the month and we won't be buying sliced cheese until June (expiration date)

Time spent repackaging everything so I can freeze it: 10 minutes

So for the rest of the month I will be buying: Apples, Bananas, Lettuce/Spinach, Carrots, Cilantro, Yogurt for Morgann, crackers, hummus, Cereal, Rich's snack cakes, & milk & probably a trip to the bread outlet. I'll do one trip down to Trader Joes (get: hummus, apples, bananas, ygurt, cereal, salmon, & crackers for Morgann, and sushi for Sarah and I to devour) in my fuel efficient old Toyota and spend about $50, and if possible just spend $50 more at the regular grocery store for the rest of the month getting perishables.

Frozen

2009-02-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ok. I love snow. I really really do. Love it. I'm just a little cold...my toes are cold. My hands are cold. My face is cold. Brrrr. I could use some warm right about....now.

I did find some "Smart Wool" socks for a good price at the LL Bean outlet, that amazingly warm my feet. They are being washed now though:( If you (women) wear a size 6-8, you can fit into kid's socks and they are MUCH cheaper. Just a hint.

hot new ride

2009-02-02T09:55:00.000-08:00

Okay. Not hot. Not new. But old and ugly. But for some reason, I love it - 1990 Toyota Camry with 128,000 miles (thats barely broken in for us!)

Rich's truck needs major work, so we've been a one car family since November. I suppose it saved us a bit on gas, but was becoming a pain to coordinate schedules. I'm sure it could have been done forever, but alas, we got a $400 old Camry. I think it rocks. I'm crazy! It needs a new quarter panel (eventually) and its set. West Side Manchester ride for sure!

Soap Box

2009-01-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

I really think the inauguration today is a bit disgusting. Yes, I am a proponent for LESS government not more. But that’s not really the reason. I would be disgusted no matter who won the presidency for spending 120 million on the event. A one day event! I just feel if they spent a "mere" 10 million, it could be done simply, beautifully, and celebrate the historic presidency - then designated 110 million to non-profits that help the poor - homeless - single moms - hardworking families who are having a hard time paying for there heat, like most of us in NH - it would be so much better spent. 110 non-profits receiving a million dollars would impact the lives of people perhaps for a lifetime, not a one day event.

I am proud that NH Gov. John Lynch (D) did in fact scale down his inaugural events to just a swearing in ceremony - cancelled the ball. He did the right thing.

In economic times like these, spending up to 200 million as some have reported for a one day event is irresponsible. Plain and Simple. It’s a slap in the face to those who work hard and are having a very hard time making ends meet.

Clinton spent 33 million on his inauguration. Bush 45 million (and was heavily criticized for spending so much).

Nepali Refugees

2009-01-14T05:29:00.000-08:00

We have been incredibly blessed by the opportunity to work with a group of Nepali refugees. They are so hospitable and make the most amazing dishes!

"Here is a little explanation of the influx of Nepali people we are seeing. Our new friends are of Nepali descent but were born in the country of Bhutan. About 17 years ago, Bhutan threw out the Nepali people. Most of them went back to Nepal, but not having been born there, they had no citizenship in their home country. Nepal set up three refugee camps for them. 17 years later they are still in these camps, but of course there are many more of them now. The US made a commitment to take 60,000 of these refugees between 2008-2012. We have learned that there are around 200 in Manchester now, with more coming.
Please pray with us as we try to reach these people for Christ.

- Pray that we form deep friendships that allow us to live out the love of Christ.
- Pray for them to find jobs before their government support runs out.
- Pray that our people at church will welcome new friends and be flexible to any changes we may make in the near future." from Marie Hasty's newsletter

We have a new friend, Amos, who is Nepali working with us this week. He is praying about moving to Manchester to help us out. That would be awesome!

Below is a Union Leader (NH newspaper) article about the Nepalese. Thanks to Will Stewart for his continued support! I think you can click on it to read it.

a Hallmark special

2009-01-10T17:11:00.001-08:00

I am a sucker for Hallmark specials. I have been since I can remember. I love a sappy love story, coupled with tragedy, perhaps an orphan, and then ending happily ever after. Most of these sappy stories take place in New England it seems. And during the winter. I think that is when I fell in love with the idea of New England and especially the winters. Snowy towns in a blanket of white for months on end.

I was driving in Concord last week, through a cute little neighborhood covered in snow. The sun was shining (though that is a rarity), and the snow was shimmering. I thought to myself: I am living my Hallmark dream! I live in a winter wonderland. And we love it.

And we are getting 5-9"more inches tonight to add to the ground. Fresh snow, horray!

525,600 minutes

2009-01-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

How do you measure a year?

In snowfall? We had over 118" inches of snow in 2008.

In fun trips? We started 2008 out with a visit with cousin Noah. He stayed with us for a week. We went to Virginia for Sarah's graduation. We went down to CT for a retreat. We went to NYC to see Myxy and then down to VA again for a fourth of July party. We went to Ohio for a family reunion, then on down (or was it up or over) to West Virginia to help Rich's parents move to SC. And then to Vermont for a lovely weekend away just Rich and I. Then we went down to SC to help them out after the fire.

Or all the great church events and community events? I did a slide show for the church and was amazed at all that God was able to accomplish in 2008. Weekly Church, Sky Show, 3 Block Parties, 3 Neighborhood Cleanups, 1 Sports Camp, 1 VBS, weekly Community Centers, Camping Trip, Job Skills Class, Financial Literacy Class, Harvest Party, Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas party. God is good. Now we have an awesome opportunity to help out a group of refugees from Nepal.

Or as in Rent, in love? I love my God, I love my family, our friends, our church, our ministry. I love New Hampshire. And Morgann, she loves chocolate!